TRIGGER WARNING! Meet "Tiffani" (Alias Due To Witness Protection)

TRIGGER WARNING! Meet "Tiffani" (Alias Due To Witness Protection)
My name is Tiffani that is the name I choose to change it to as I had to go into witness protection.
 
I was born to a couple who drank way to much and worried more about themselves and how they "looked" to others. Us children were not top priority, I was the second child of my mothers but she gave my brother up and I do not know him.
 
My father drank, and got mean. He would beat my mom and I both, he even beat her so bad my brother came early and had brain damage due to my mother going down the stairs in a heated battle with him one night. My father finally left when I was 3 and my mother remarried pretty much right away. This man soon became everyone’s worst nightmare! The first date my uncle had come over and watched us kids and before my 5th birthday I was forced to have sex with a 17 year old while my brother laughed. He was arrested and to this day my grandmother blames me for him being in prison. I was not his only victim (his last victim was an 87 year old woman.)
 
My mother moved her new "man friend" in and started supporting him. I can’t recall if he had a job because he was home a lot! While my Mom was at work he’d try to make us sleep and if we couldn’t there were punishments. I made him incredibly mad, I was on the top bunk that had a solid rail across the top to assure a child doesn't fall out, It was wooden. He came in enraged and pulled me through it. My face hit so hard I started bleeding instantly, it also cut the left side of my cheek. I remember him telling me to shut up and a cold rag on my face looking up at my mother and him lying about what had happened. She always believed his lies.
 
Yet another incident - a while later - I was walking home from school and saw a cat in the canal, I pulled it out to save it. I thought I’d take it home and dry it fast, he came home while I was in the middle of doing so. He threw that poor cat out the door and sent me to my room and told me to wait (he always did this to add fear) I waited 15 minutes I believe and he came in mad as can be.
 
He slowly climbed on top of me almost the way a cat does a branch and started punching me in my face. He punched me in my face, my sides, my ear, my arms, my neck, my mouth, he even bit me. This beating went on for what seemed like an hour then he stopped, got up and acted like nothing had happened. Said "you can go play now". I slowly got up in pain, bloody and went to the bathroom.
 
I cleaned up and went down to my friends house, when her mother opened the door I didn’t get the greeting I normally did. I soon had police asking me questions and in the end I was taken from my mother for 2 weeks and he had to do anger management. I never understood why the police bothered to show up when in reality nothing really ever got done. We were forced to move. I ended up having to live with both my uncle and my step dad in one house and I wanted to die. The days got long I was being bullied at school, I was the fat girl everyone loved to beat up and then I went home and was the little girl he loved to beat and rape.  He even convinced my aunt to sleep with him, he told her it’d all stop if she’d give him herself so she did it. I called the police and CPS and nothing ever happened. Why? Because he was military and not good either. We moved again because some people down the road caught him with their daughter (some how he got away with that too).
 
My mother went to Mexico and he brought in his nephew to babysit while he worked. He also had his way with me while my brother was out swimming in the pool.
 
My step father had tried to suffocate me, drowned me, he even knocked my two front teeth out. I was told by him and my mother that I was fat I’d never get married because I’d never fit in a dress and no man would want me.
 
Later I met a man who I thought loved me.  WRONG. He was a meth addict, who put me in ICU for weeks. It was good for the first 2 months then out of nowhere I was dirt.
 
I was being told how I had to dress, I had to lose weight, he called me a pig he was slipping me meth in my Pepsi to (help me lose weight) if I didn’t polish the TV or door knobs or do certain chores my head went through odd things.
 
Then I Found out I was pregnant and of course he blamed me! I did it on purpose he said, my little boy was with my mom - thank god because he took my phone took my keys and threw me in a room and locked the door. Told me I wasn’t coming out it was my punishment for getting pregnant. I went 3 days with no food and no water. I just laid there waiting. He finally let me out and I went and visited my mom and told her what happened.
 
At this time she was remarried and they both wanted me out!  I went home with a plan but he had a plan in mind too. I got home and he had red roses and a sorry card.  That was always his apology. He wanted to go to a movie and celebrate a blessing he said. The cops came to my house several more times through the year--from being dragged 10 feet with a moving vehicle by him to him putting my head through a windshield, throwing me down the stairs, but the end result was my son.  Two years in the hospital, my daughter dead and me in ICU. I had to change my name and my sons to get away. Sad part is he only served 6 months because he had a good attorney and gave the police a bigger fish!
  
Today I am a domestic survivor advocate, I’m an amazing photographer and a CNA/ Phlebotomist.
 
I survived.
 
I’m a Beautiful Disaster in every way because I wake up battling the PTSD and I have to fight with the darkness inside, even though I look fine outside.
 
No child should go through this! The pain is so real, the depression is a battle. But I truly believe your strong. (The lord put us all in training when born some just harder then others.) Why? Because they require different skill sets later in life.
Hard times are lessons, not destruction!
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Comments

Cynthia Esposito May 19 2019

Keep up the great job!
I have faith in you. You CAN do this. Stay strong.