Sunshine's Story

Sunshine's Story

 

I wanted to share my story because maybe there are people that need to hear it and know they have someone out there that has a similar story as their own. We all have our own story and mine has been hard for me.

A Beautiful Disaster according to me, is someone that has gotten back up even after all the pain and anguish in their life. When I was born almost 49 years ago, I was born into a body I believe I was not meant to be in. I never thought of myself as beautiful because my body was wrong so I thought I was hideous. I realized that my body didn’t match the person I was inside when I was very young. Back then it wasn’t talked about because it was very taboo. I had to hide who I was and it almost killed so many times. I turned to drinking when I was just 14 and I turned to other recreational aids to combat my depression. As I grew up and realized what I was I still was so scared of what people would think of me I decided I would keep hiding. As long as I hid my true self I stayed depressed and was very antisocial. As I grew up, I became more introverted with very few friends. 

The straw that broke everything open was I couldn’t stand lying to people any more, especially myself. I wanted to be the real me. I wanted to finally become the girl I was supposed to be when I was born. So I started the steps for transitioning and sought out a therapist. I think I found the best therapist in the world because she was so accepting of me and my situation. She never asked stupid questions like, “are you sure you want to do this?” nor said anything derogatory about transitioning. When I went into this, my eyes were wide open because I knew about the struggles people faced, but I could never have imagined the acceptance I received from certain people. My mother died before I started transitioning and my father died before I was brave enough to tell him; however, my family has accepted this more than I ever thought. Another step was started about 5 months into therapy and that was my medical transition or Hormone Replacement Therapy. I was put on estrogen and testosterone blockers. About 4 months in I was put on progesterone. I have had significant mental and physical changes due to therapy and the HRT. I finally started living as my true self after I started hormones. I still was afraid but then I found the Beautiful Disaster brand. When I found them, I was a complete disaster as a woman and couldn’t nor wouldn’t go back to being a man. I didn’t think I was beautiful at all because I was still so masculine in appearance. However, I decided to get my first thing from BD and that was the Phoenix 2 collection and the Angel Collection. I thought I resonated more with the angel collection bc I honestly thought my wings were broken. Then BD came out with Phoenix 3 and the Giving A Fuck sweatshirt. I saw both and had to have them. Then this newest addition of the fearlessly authentic which typifies my journey now. I will never be done with my transition but I’m grateful every day that I get to have a new day to wear another piece of BD clothing. I feel so much stronger because of the message of this wonderful brand. I have my calendar hanging up so I can read the beautiful message that I always think is a personal note to me from BD clothing. 
Now I get to live my truth every day, though I have one more major step to go in my transition I’m starting to love myself now more every day because of who I am and who I am becoming. Thank you to this beautiful brand, the beautiful women that make up this tribe, and all the beautiful people that support the tribe members. Without your message I think I would be lost.

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Comments

Amy Fogle March 29 2021

Sunshine, You are beautiful!! Part of my story is the same. So i can identify with you. Just know it was not you nothing wrong with you. Some people feel powerful when they have insecurity issues and they use that to make themselves feel better by putting others down.
I’m proud of you for taking back your power znd standin up for yourself. Rock on girl.. Rock on!

Diane Hayes March 22 2021

Sunshine I want you to know you are most beautiful when you are true to yourself. Proud of you .

Norma Pachal March 22 2021

Sunshine your story is remarkable and incredible, thank you for sharing and I’m glad that you’re living as your true self today

maggie March 22 2021

Sunshine you are a ray of hope for being the person you are now. When you are true to yourself the doors will open in ways you can’t imagine. Always accept the love of people who care for you unconditionally . You are a warrior and a beautiful disaster who is own it.

Denise March 21 2021

Sunshine not only are you beautiful you are amazing. Keep being your true authentic self much love.

Cheryl March 21 2021

Sunshine I am so proud of you for finally allowing your self to be who you were meant to be. Everyone deserves happiness and joy and…I can’t even imagine how scary that was to do. The relief of that weight on your shoulders must make you feel so free..you can finally take a breath and know it is going to be ok. Hugs my friend! Thank you for sharing your story!

Cheryl March 21 2021

Sunshine I am so proud of you for finally allowing your self to be who you were meant to be. Everyone deserves happiness and joy and…I can’t even imagine how scary that was to do. The relief of that weight on your shoulders must make you feel so free..you can finally take a breath and know it is going to be ok. Hugs my friend! Thank you for sharing your story!

Cheryl March 21 2021

Sunshine I am so proud of you for finally allowing your self to be who you were meant to be. Everyone deserves happiness and joy and…I can’t even imagine how scary that was to do. The relief of that weight on your shoulders must make you feel so free..you can finally take a breath and know it is going to be ok. Hugs my friend! Thank you for sharing your story!

Cheryl March 21 2021

Sunshine I am so proud of you for finally allowing your self to be who you were meant to be. Everyone deserves happiness and joy and…I can’t even imagine how scary that was to do. The relief of that weight on your shoulders must make you feel so free..you can finally take a breath and know it is going to be ok. Hugs my friend! Thank you for sharing your story!

Cheryl March 21 2021

Sunshine I am so proud of you for finally allowing your self to be who you were meant to be. Everyone deserves happiness and joy and…I can’t even imagine how scary that was to do. The relief of that weight on your shoulders must make you feel so free..you can finally take a breath and know it is going to be ok. Hugs my friend! Thank you for sharing your story!

Cheryl March 21 2021

Sunshine I am so proud of you for finally allowing your self to be who you were meant to be. Everyone deserves happiness and joy and…I can’t even imagine how scary that was to do. The relief of that weight on your shoulders must make you feel so free..you can finally take a breath and know it is going to be ok. Hugs my friend! Thank you for sharing your story!

Wicked Tiff. March 21 2021

Sunshine, you are extremely courageous. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It was an honor and a pleasure to read. I am excited for you and I hope updated information will be available.

Peggy March 21 2021

You are so strong and very courageous. I am so proud of you for being true to yourself. Be who you are not who people want you to be. Beautiful!!

jill March 21 2021

Girl you rock. Faith over fear. God has your for sure. And still loves no matter what. Stay strong !!

SurvivorSheri March 21 2021

Sunshine!! You are beautiful inside and out. Keep shining your light. Be happy and your true self. Girl we got your back! 💞

SurvivorSheri March 21 2021

Sunshine!! You are beautiful inside and out. Keep shining your light. Be happy and your true self. Girl we got your back! 💞

Chrystal Barron March 21 2021

I have gone through Hell and back. We all have a story to tell some of them are really really bad. We are strong Women . BD came out the right time for me I’ve always been a beautiful disaster I have a tattooed on me and I sport the clothing. I am grateful to respect any and everybody and sunshine and you are doing a wonderful wonderful to be put in the body that you needed to be born in love yourself embrace yourself I know if you’re one beautiful disaster

Donna March 21 2021

All of the women in their stories are strong, beautiful, super courageous and down right Badass. It’s a tough world, people are so mean and judgmental. Kudos to all of you for making it to the other side and are here to tell your stories. If you can help save one person from domestic abuse or a drug overdose and steer them to the path of healing then you have made a difference in the world. And that is one hell of an honorable accomplishment.
Sunshine, Best of luck to you with your transformation to the person you were ment to be.

Kirsten Olson March 21 2021

Sweetheart you are GORGEOUS. YOU, your authentic self is so much more radiant than the false person you were forced to pretend to be. Let your light shine in this world, we all need you.

X-Lydia March 21 2021

Sunshine, I love your story and your name and your beautiful happy smile. I’m so glad you now can be YOU…because you’re awesome.

Dolores Roberta Ann Garcia March 21 2021

Hi. I came across BD on face book. I saw n I said this is me. Dealing with Mental health issues all around me. I was sure BD would be something I need to be apart of. Thank BD. Blessings

Yvie March 21 2021

How wonderful and brave you are. My spouse is transitioning to male, but your stories are so similar. It gives me hope that one day he will be able to feel acceptance and stop being afraid of judgment. You are beautiful.