I wanted to share my story because maybe there are people that need to hear it and know they have someone out there that has a similar story as their own. We all have our own story and mine has been hard for me.
A Beautiful Disaster according to me, is someone that has gotten back up even after all the pain and anguish in their life. When I was born almost 49 years ago, I was born into a body I believe I was not meant to be in. I never thought of myself as beautiful because my body was wrong so I thought I was hideous. I realized that my body didn’t match the person I was inside when I was very young. Back then it wasn’t talked about because it was very taboo. I had to hide who I was and it almost killed so many times. I turned to drinking when I was just 14 and I turned to other recreational aids to combat my depression. As I grew up and realized what I was I still was so scared of what people would think of me I decided I would keep hiding. As long as I hid my true self I stayed depressed and was very antisocial. As I grew up, I became more introverted with very few friends.
The straw that broke everything open was I couldn’t stand lying to people any more, especially myself. I wanted to be the real me. I wanted to finally become the girl I was supposed to be when I was born. So I started the steps for transitioning and sought out a therapist. I think I found the best therapist in the world because she was so accepting of me and my situation. She never asked stupid questions like, “are you sure you want to do this?” nor said anything derogatory about transitioning. When I went into this, my eyes were wide open because I knew about the struggles people faced, but I could never have imagined the acceptance I received from certain people. My mother died before I started transitioning and my father died before I was brave enough to tell him; however, my family has accepted this more than I ever thought. Another step was started about 5 months into therapy and that was my medical transition or Hormone Replacement Therapy. I was put on estrogen and testosterone blockers. About 4 months in I was put on progesterone. I have had significant mental and physical changes due to therapy and the HRT. I finally started living as my true self after I started hormones. I still was afraid but then I found the Beautiful Disaster brand. When I found them, I was a complete disaster as a woman and couldn’t nor wouldn’t go back to being a man. I didn’t think I was beautiful at all because I was still so masculine in appearance. However, I decided to get my first thing from BD and that was the Phoenix 2 collection and the
Angel Collection. I thought I resonated more with the angel collection bc I honestly thought my wings were broken. Then BD came out with
Phoenix 3 and the
Giving A Fuck sweatshirt. I saw both and had to have them. Then this newest addition of the fearlessly authentic which typifies my journey now. I will never be done with my transition but I’m grateful every day that I get to have a new day to wear another piece of BD clothing. I feel so much stronger because of the message of this wonderful brand. I have my calendar hanging up so I can read the beautiful message that I always think is a personal note to me from BD clothing.
Now I get to live my truth every day, though I have one more major step to go in my transition I’m starting to love myself now more every day because of who I am and who I am becoming. Thank you to this beautiful brand, the beautiful women that make up this tribe, and all the beautiful people that support the tribe members. Without your message I think I would be lost.
