What makes you a Beautiful Disaster?
My adult life has been quite the rollercoaster, it all started after I found my now ex husband. I met him through an online dating site, something that I always vowed to myself I would never do, but I was young and thought I wanted to find love. Turns out I was looking in all the wrong places, he promised me the world and told me everything he thought I wanted to hear. In all reality he broke me down, from the inside out, tore me down, and made me feel absolutely worthless. It all started off like rainbows and butterflies. He was absolutely amazing, he held doors for me, he complimented me in ways that made me feel great, and then, he changed. It seemed like everything I did or said to him made him upset in someway or another. Then he started drinking, and I would find myself dodging beer bottles, vodka bottles, vacuum cleaners, and at one point I had found myself dodging a laptop. I couldn’t talk to my mom or dad, I couldn’t invite friends over without his permission. I couldn’t drive my car without his permission, and still through all that I thought I loved him, and I did. My family kept telling me that I was better off without him and I deserved someone who treated me with respect and yet I didn’t listen I just kept telling myself that it was nothing, and then before I knew it two years had passed. I found out that I was expecting a beautiful baby who is now three. When I told him about the news I did not get the reaction I thought I would get. Long story short another year went passed I was married and had a baby. I was in an extremely toxic marriage and I was completely blind. And it seemed to get worse after we found out that our daughter was diagnosed with Cerebral palsy and Angelman syndrome.
Why do you identify with the Beautiful Disaster brand?
Identifying with the Beautiful Disaster brand makes me feel empowered and beautiful and makes me feel like I am worth it. Wearing the BD brand gives me the strength to tell my story and empower others to tell their story.
What has life been like for you?
Life for me has been an extremely emotional rollercoaster. These last two years have been very hard but I have overcame some of the most difficult situations. Up until just recently I have been really happy, I found an amazing man that has taken on not only my difficulties but has also taken on the responsibility of becoming a father figure to my little girl.
What happened for you to turn it around?
There comes a time in life where you think the worst thing in the world can't or wouldn’t happen to you. Let me tell you I was that person. During my marriage with my husband I had found him on numerous occasions smoking meth. After we had our daughter I thought things with him had changed, it turns out I was wrong. One night we had gotten into a horrible fight over something absolutely petty, long story short, he had stolen my car left me to walk over 5 city blocks back to our then temporary hotel room and home at the time. When I got there he had taken our then one year old daughter and got a separate room. The police had been called after I had told him that he needed to stop the meth and the drugs. He kept me from coming into our room, started punching himself in the face with our daughter in his arms and continued to tell me that he was going to tell the police that I had hit him and our daughter. I left and called the police because at that point I felt like I needed to GET OUT!! When the police finally came back he had taken our daughter to a different room and invited his meth friends, at which point they decided to smoke meth after he had given our daughter a dangerous amount of Benadryl to “make her sleepy.” At this point in time I was in the hallway being questioned about the events that had taken place earlier in the day and I felt like I was being interrogated, next thing I knew six paramedics and more cops run past me and directly into the room where my ex husband his friends and my daughter were staying. At this point a million things are running through my mind, and then the very thing that all mothers fear when dealing with situations, I see my daughter white as a ghost on a gurney. My heart left my chest, I tried to go after her and I was STOPPED, that’s right I WAS STOPPED!!! I lost it, everything I ever worried about, my biggest and worst fears any mother could think about, it was happening to me right then and there. When I was finally able to go to the hospital I was told that my daughter was on the BRINK OF DEATH. She had been overdosed with Benadryl and had inhaled enough meth smoke that it was like she had taken a direct hit. It was at that moment I decided enough was enough. It was at that moment I decided to make the hardest decision of my life, I decided to file for divorce, and fought for custody. It was the hardest most difficult year to say the least, the divorce was very nasty but it was definitely worth it. I couldn’t imagine my life without my little girl. It was at that very moment I had realized exactly what everyone was trying to tell me years before, I finally saw what everyone else saw. He was a monster.
What is your life like now?
Life now is amazing, I have an amazing boyfriend. Just so happens that we lived in the same neighborhood, houses away from each other. We went to school together, he played with my cousins and it just so happens that he picked on me as we were kids. He is an amazing person, we have so much fun together, yes he still picks on me, but I have never been happier. He is an amazing father figure and he has been my greatest support system. He tells me how much I mean to him all the time even when he doesn’t have to. And the best part is I can be myself around him and not have to worry about being judged. He is an amazing person, he cares a lot about me and my daughter and he has seen me at my all time worst and has been there for me through everything. When we started talking to each other and realized that we already knew each other from when we were younger, I gave him the chance to leave but even still he chose to stay. Ultimately we hadn’t even planned on being in a relationship with each other. We were only expecting friendship and over the course of a few weeks we had gained feelings that we couldn’t help and the next thing I knew I had a boyfriend that was willing to fight my battles with me. I knew at that moment he was a keeper. We are getting ready to celebrate our first year together as a couple next month and I couldn’t be happier.
What is your favorite item from Beautiful Disaster and why?
I love all the items from beautiful disaster but if I had to pick one it would have to be the Beautifully Broken or the You Don’t Know My Story collection. I love them both because I am beautifully broken and I have been able to tell my story. When I wear the story collection people ask me about my story, and it gives me the strength to tell them my story. Wearing the Beautiful Disaster line allows me to feel confident. I'm so glad to be a part of the Beautiful Disaster family and I would love for others to see and know my story.