I lived with a narcist for 2 1/2 years and for most of this time I was mentally and physically abused! I never felt so alone in my life... He took control over everything in my life, from my clothes, make-up and family and friends. I had no friends and my own children were out of my life. I wanted out so bad, but it is much harder than people think. Many people don't understand how mental abuse controls your whole life. He would hit me daily, broke my cheek bone while driving, I got back handed and broke a tooth and my glasses. 

After this attack I tried moving away...not letting anyone know where but he found me, made me lose apartment and move back with him, for control. From this time till February things just got worse!! He turned my entire apartment upside and inside out, like a tornado had gone threw, over papers he found from 2014 many years before him. 
While with him I was working and in online school full-time, he would go threw my laptop, phone, and purse and if he found anything to him to be wrong my stuff would be broken and I had to replace 4 phones, 2 laptops. He starting controlling my make-up, claiming I always had new stuff when I didn't. He had GPS on me to watch my every move and so if I took to long or turned/not turn he would call or text blowing me up.
By now, it's February when I was held in my place for 48 hours being beat so badly I now am not able to open my jaw all the way, needed a knee replacement and my index finger reconstructed. He was pouring all my meds into the toilet and when I tried to stop him, he hit me in the nose and broke that too.
On the 3rd day, I was finally able to get out and went to work, where my boss made sure I never had to go back home and put me in a hotel. On this same day, in the ER at 2:30 pm, an officer came up to me. Up until this point, no officer really cared, but he did!! He said to me "I taught a class to 163 officers to show how mental abuse is just as, if not worse, than just physical abuse. Finally, I found my angel!! To this day I wear his badge number on bracelet!! If not for him spending 2:30am till 9:30pm listening to my story, I do believe he would not have ever been arrested 2 days later!!
Now it's been since 2/6/19 and we are finally getting to the point of jail time. I pray he gets all the Judge can issue!
During this time frame is when I found Beautiful Disaster and I found myself in this label!! I wear Beautiful Disaster proudly and I believe going through hell to find this line is what was needed. I would be dead if not for my Guarding Angels and wearing my voice with BD!! Just like the Phoenix, I have risen like the ashes and, for that reason, Phoenix is my favorite collection.
I am stronger then ever and I use my outfits to also try to help others that need there voice heard!! 

Leave a comment

Please note: comments must be approved before they are published.

September 17, 2021