What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
My life has been a disaster from the beginning.
I have childhood memories of my dad placing a loaded gun on the kitchen table and telling us we were all going to be killed that night. The abuse continued for years—nights where he would shove a kitchen chair against my mom’s throat so she couldn’t breathe. She stayed for 54 years, until she passed last year. The abuse was still happening when she died.
I was raped at 14. Then again, during boot camp in the Marine Corps, after I tore my knee and watched my dreams fall apart.
I got married at 20. That marriage lasted far longer than it should have—17 years. I felt worthless. I had five kids and three miscarriages. Eventually, I walked away—a single mom with no income, battling C-PTSD, suicidal ideation, and two major attempts. I'm still manic depressive. It’s been eight years since the divorce. Two kids are still at home. There have been so many ups—and far more downs.
But in 2023, I decided it was time to stop sucking at life. I enrolled in trade school. I graduate on April 19th this year, after passing all my classes with honors. I landed a job in an oncology department—ironically, the same illness that took my mom’s life last year.
Just this past month, I found out my youngest son—he’s 16—shares my DNA in more ways than I hoped. He’s suicidal. He took 100 Tylenol (650mg) and tried to end his life. That brought all of my own trauma rushing back, but I remind myself every day: we are all Beautiful Disasters, one moment at a time.
I’ve found myself in another abusive relationship. I’m trying to get back up to help my son—but this man pulls me down every chance he gets.
Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
I’ve been broken for so long. I was a walking disaster. Then I found your clothing line and everything shifted. I’m not just a disaster—I’m a Beautiful Disaster.
Tell Us Your Beautiful Disaster Story:
See above.
What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
Nothing changes if I don’t change.
Name 3 Things You’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:
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I keep standing up every time life knocks me down.
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I show up to work even when my depression is in overdrive—because sitting in my driveway feeling hopeless won’t get my kids out of this situation.
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I remind myself that progress, no matter how small, still counts.
What Is Your Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection and Why?
The Angel Wings collection—there’s something powerful and comforting about that image. I find it deeply inspirational.