What makes you a Beautiful Disaster?
I'm a One Woman. A Billion-Dollar Fight, fighter, and survivor who may be a version of beautiful—with my scars of disaster hidden.
Why do you identify with the Beautiful Disaster brand?
Initially, the old English simple writing on a shirt drew my attention. Then I found your website and read that your brand had purpose. I just didn't realize how much of my story could be defined in two words: Beautiful Disaster.
Tell us your Beautiful Disaster story:
I've suffered from sexual abuse when I was in preschool, then the creepy uncle in middle school—which I thought we all had, right? Those events, driven by divorced parents and 12 different schools in CA & CO, led me into gangs and more trouble.
After Job Corps—I chose that over visiting our jail—I was still messing up and got kicked out. Until finally, something hit me: that I deserved better than the hand I was dealt. That I was stronger than my environment and influences.
I worked hard, went to college—putting all my expenses on a credit card (no silver spoon here)—and kept pushing myself. I felt like Rocky during those years, fighting for survival instead of running away. My degree wasn't huge, but it was mine. And I took that new pride I found in myself and hustled for years, landing myself many prominent positions in medical research with the big players in the industry—tattoos, sarcasm, and all.
While climbing the invisible ceiling, I was injured during a routine hysterectomy that almost took my life—and has continued to take my health and my career. For almost five years now, I've been disabled. Fighting the surgeons and hospital in lawsuits. Dealing with people in suits. But mostly fighting for my life.
Many times, I've wanted to take flight—but I don't, out of the love for my parents and my ol’ man, mentally and physically. After six major surgeries and seven outpatient ones, I have one major surgery left. And I fear that if I don't survive, nobody will hear my story, take precautions on malpractice, or be a patient advocate for themselves.
Sexism in healthcare is real.
But mostly, I want to help any woman that may have faced my challenges—or still is—and give them my battle plan so they aren't facing the world alone.
What happened for you to turn it around?
I've fought a billion-dollar healthcare organization—surgeons and nurses—to finally have my case heard this year by the Supreme Court, this winter. I just received confirmation for my surgery date (four different surgeons at once) this summer.
And if, for any reason, I don’t make it off that table alive—I need to share my story to save others. That, and my pure insanity and will to survive this surgery, so I may face the people who made me a Beautiful Disaster, is what helps me turn it around.
I'm not fully there yet, but I pray I will be one day.
If not, I pray I'm an angel looking over my loved ones so they don't endure my pain and protect them, God willing. Because there were days when hell didn’t seem like the worst place to be—my shoes did.
Name 3 things you’ve done to move closer to happiness:
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Vengeance—eye for an eye mentality, in hopes that what was taken from me will also be taken from them.
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Fight back legally vs. the other options I might have chosen in my youth.
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Educate people about my health conditions, advocate for themselves, and not give up.
What is your favorite Beautiful Disaster collection, past or present, and why?
Good ol’ logo in old English, black & white. Or the collection with all the logos—showing your history from the past to the present. Inspirational, but still has a lil’ thug in it… like me.
Due to an active lawsuit, I can't share names—or probably my face—but when this settles, it will be like seeing myself for the first time. Free of fighting them and fighting for whatever the new normal looks like, living with disabilities.
And I didn’t include what disabilities my hysterectomy left me with…
On the outside, I may appear normal (good thing you can’t see inside my thoughts 😜)
I've had 2 ileostomies and now a permanent colostomy. My next surgery will be to place another stoma… yup, I’m a bag lady.
I suffer with my self-confidence hourly. There are people in my life who have no idea—because I’m ashamed of the very thing that has saved my life.
By coming forward with my story, maybe it will make other women feel confident and not hide. Maybe it helps me tell the truth about my condition and hold my head up high—to be an inspiration to other stoma survivors and give me the sense of pride and confidence I’ve lost by becoming disfigured.
Thanks for listening. I’ve wanted to share my story for years… but never had the balls. 🩷