I have been a fan of your clothing line and blog since you started. I found myself with similar life experiences like many of the other Beautiful Disaster Ladies.

Looking back,

I never really thought of writing down my life story and sharing it, and how it really was one big Beautiful Fucking  Disaster! From start until now.  I, like many of the other fellow Miss. BD’s am a victim of child molestation, eating disorders, and addiction. It’s kind of scary laying it all out there but fuck it here it goes. Before the age of 3, I was already from a broken family. I was raised by a single mother. I have an older brother and a (Irish -twin)  sister who is 10 months younger than me. By the age of 5 I became a victim of child molestation by a neighborhood kid. (which effected me as I got older with horrible flashbacks of being examined by doctors and pain). Thinking about it makes me want to cry, but it’s so sad to know this happens to a lot of kids. It never got talked about – as if it never happened. By the time I hit 10 I had started developing body image  problems and eating disorders (anorexia and binge eating). I became so paranoid the thought of others always watching me while or if I ate. I hardly ever ate around anyone. I couldn’t be more then 105/110 lbs. It drove me crazy. Basically if I couldn’t see my bones popping out I was not satisfied. ( I always wanted to be a model but this disorder greatly affected me by thinking I did not have a chance to model, I was too ugly, too fat, wasn’t good enough period). This went on all through my teen years. By 14 I got sent to Juvenile Hall and realized this is a place I never want to return to EVER! As I got older I started what doctors like to say “self medicating”  using drugs, alcohol, and over dose by the age of 18. It literally scared the SHIT OUT OF ME! I now suffer from serve anxiety from my stupid poor choices.  And that’s the day I opened my eyes and started to change my life for the better. During that whole time I did not care for anyone, about anyone, I had zero respect for anybody including self respect for myself.  In 2004 I met the greatest dude in the world Daryl. We lost touch and reunited a year later and the rest is history. We have been together almost 10 years now. We have two awesome kids, Landen (8) and Sadie (2). My son Landen has taught me a valuable lesson on living life and seeing the world differently, than most others. Landen was diagnosed with autism at age 3. And has progressed so much in the last 5 years. ( from not being able to talk, to communicate, and socialize with others to now talking more and more , being able now to communicate and have small conversations and socializing more and more). I couldn’t be more of a PROUD MOTHER to this kid. Even though there was some very, very hard times I wouldn’t change it or him for anything. Thanks for his sister Sadie who has helped him  tremendously on all aspects. She loves her BRO BRO. His little protector we call her. So my life has been quite a ride for now. But my new chapter in life is to raise the best kids in the world, maybe find a cure for all the kids affected by Autism or hope one day soon there will be a cure, and live life each day to the fullest and don’t let the small things ruin it. 

 

P.S. We may all look, act, and be different but we are all the same. We all got through similar life experiences. Never judge a book by its cover chances are you might have more in common than you think.

- Missy

#SupportAutismAwarness!

Origin Submission: 7/28/15

Would you like to share your story and be featured on the Beautiful Disaster Blog? Please email christie@bdrocks.com

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July 28, 2015