Nish Shepheard - Overcoming Low Self-esteem, Depression and Anxiety
What life has been like for me?
For as long as I can remember, I have always been different. I was the only black girl in the neighborhood, my school, and my family that listened to metal. I kept my head in a book, I was shy and quiet. For this, I was bullied, targeted, and made fun of. By the time I started junior high, I suffered from low self-esteem and depression. I was called ugly and much worse so much, I believed it was true.
I was being punished for being myself that I felt I wasn't good enough. I was so desperate for love that I got into many relationships, including marriage, with guys who were narcissistic, abusive, and emotionally unavailable. I felt that I deserved it. I struggled with self-esteem, depression, and anxiety all my life.
What happened for me to turn it around?
It wasn't until the father of my adorable six-year-old daughter was arrested for possession of images (I'm not gonna say what kind), I realized I needed to work on loving myself and believing I deserve a lot better than what I've been getting. I focused on getting my life together, being a mother to my two girls, and becoming independent. This process took five years, and I still have a long way to go!
What is my life like now?
*singing* Ba-da-ba-ba-ba I'm loving it! LOL It wasn't easy, but I am learning to love life after years of being suicidal I have a great job at the hospital working as a Patient Care Tech, and soon I will be taking a phlebotomy course and eventually work in the lab. I'm STOKED!!! The icing on the cake is that I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy who's sweet, supportive and makes me laugh. He lets me be myself and loves me the way that I am. I have my good days and bad days, but I'm learning to cope using my pagan spirituality.
Why do I identify With The Beautiful Disaster Brand?
Not only the clothes are super cute, but it's more than that. Every shirt, hat, etc. is a constant reminder of what I've been through and what I've become in spite of that. When life gets hard, Put your big girl panties on and roll with the punches.
What makes me a Beautiful Disaster?
I'm a Beautiful Disaster because my experiences taught me how to be tough. Yes, I wanted to die because the torment and abuse got really bad. Guess what, bitches? I'm still here. I rose up from the ashes like the phoenix. I may have been broken, but broken things can be fixed, right? That makes me a Beautiful Disaster, or a badass.