“Beautiful Disaster” is a perfect way to describe me and my life. It’s taken a very long time for me to feel beautiful, in any way, and I’m definitely a “Perfectly Imperfect” person! I have many, many flaws and in the past I’ve had much to overcome, but I always get through what’s thrown at me and come out stronger in the end.
My favorite saying from the BD line is “If you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change” because I’ve always been called different or weird or any variation of that sentiment. I’ve been abused in all forms, had my world fall apart many times but never gave up. My most recent triumph has been pretty huge. I’ve never been what you would call a healthy person. I’ve always had something wrong with me that the doctors would just scratch their heads at and dismiss because they couldn’t figure things out.
Several years ago I had a major relapse of a neurological disease that I thought I had seen the end of right after graduating high school. I was also diagnosed with lupus and ended up with severe foot drop, causing me to be confined to a wheelchair for almost four years. I was on so many medications and at such high doses that my kidneys started slowly shutting down and my meds backed up in my system over a couple of weeks until one day when they all hit at once and I had an accidental overdose and had to be resuscitated in the emergency room.
A month later I had a heart attack while on a camping trip and was in a coma for almost two days after. At that point I knew I needed to make a change. Shortly after, my foot specialist told me that it was doubtful I would ever walk again. As depressed as I was at that time, I really don’t know what it was, but something in me just refused to accept that and I worked my ass off in physical therapy to get back on my feet again. It was almost certain that I would always need a walker, cane or such and that the braces I wore on my feet would be permanent, but I’ve put them in the past, as well.
I’m now not only walking again, but driving and working, too! I’m off of all but one of the meds, and that one is a minute fraction of what I used to have to take. I use natural remedies and they help my pain more than any narcotics, opiates it muscle relaxers ever did. I have a wonderful, stable relationship and live in a beautiful town in a fantastic home and feel like I’m a better mom than I’ve ever been before. I still have a long way to go to make my life complete, but I know now that once I set my mind to something, nothing will stop me from making it happen. It may not happen right away, but some things are very much worth waiting for. 

Warm Regards,
Mikki Risler

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May 17, 2019