Michelle's Story: Deciding To Love Myself

Michelle's Story: Deciding To Love Myself

I identify with Beautiful Disaster because I have been at the lowest of lows and despising myself to now, today, living the authentic, best version of myself that I embrace and do not apologize for! I love proudly wearing your clothing line and answering questions that result, which allows me to share with other women that they are not alone! We all are overcomers!

I grew up with a father who traveled 90 percent of my growing up years.  That impacts a young girl whose every desire is for her father’s approval!  (I learned in counseling that over half of a woman’s self worth is developed in their teens and is based on their father’s words and actions.)  With zero validation and no examples, I began dating men who were abusive in all aspects of the word.  I simply didn’t have it in my head that I deserved better!  Well after my 6th abusive relationship, I went drastically from being an anorexic control freak who wanted to keep up appearances to no longer caring about myself.  A few months later I was diagnosed with a serious mood disorder and PTSD mixed with anxiety.  My parents urged me to go to an outpatient mental health treatment program in my little town where I was given a case worker to check on me twice a week.  

I finally felt someone believed in me and the first thing my caseworker insisted on working on was self worth and getting into counseling.  Well, it's been a long hard road choosing to believe in myself!  I went through 8 years of counseling, gained and lost 200 pounds, come to accept my mental health diagnoses, and went from taking 14 medications a day to just two!  I went on a dating hiatus until I could figure out why I attracted and accepted such horrible men, and a funny thing happened!

When I decided to love myself and project my love into the world, it seemed like the world then loved me back!  

Today, I love my life!  I am almost to my goal size and improving my health everyday.  I am happily married to the man of my dreams who treats me like his queen (he knows I won’t accept less! LOL) and I have a bonus son, 9, who has my heart!  I have finally embraced my quirkiness and when I am not wearing my Beautiful Disaster clothing, I dress straight out of the 1950’s.  (Don’t worry I embrace the clothes, not the standards!)   I add to my tattoo collection at least every year and I have quit apologizing!  I am proudly a “Beautiful Disaster” that isn’t afraid to stumble and fall on her path to her best self but never stops trying!

My two favorite items are the trucker hat I love wearing while I lift at the gym as well as the incredibly comfy “In Memory” sweatshirt that now is too big but I love wearing anyways!  I look forward to purchasing even more items soon!

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