What makes you a Beautiful Disaster?

My story started 9/11/5015. I left my family and home in California for better job opportunities in Colorado. I had support from my husband's family, they gave me a place to live. And then things changed. After 5 months in Colorado I struggled with my career & in February I ultimately found myself homeless. I was living out of my truck with all of my stuff I owned. Four rubbermaid tubs. I felt I had nothing to show for my hard work. I had no home to call my own. I did have a family member let me stay in their unfinished cold basement which I was totally grateful for. It was better than sleeping in my truck in the snow. I was working long hours and days at an Urgent care during that time. In March 2016 I finally was able to get an apartment of my own and my husband was able to transfer his job to Colorado so my family was starting to be together again. 


I went to work at the urgent care 4/2/16 with a major migraine. I worked half of my shift, but I could not function so I went home. I had felt crappy for a couple of days with a severe migraine. I had seen 2 doctors during a span of 2 days I didn’t know what was going on I just wanted to sleep it off and I did. My husband noticed I was acting weird so not knowing he had been keeping a close eye on me. On Tuesday 4/4/16 I had slept most the day, that night my husband laying beside me in bed was watching me breathe. He tried to mimic my breathing and couldn’t then I was told I stopped breathing. I basically died on 4/4/16. When I arrived at the ER my oxygen level was 65, which is dangerously low.  I vaguely remember anything from that night. I was placed on 15 liters of oxygen I had several nurses, doctors, X-rays all in my room - I was scaring the staff. I remember the nurse calling my husband in so the doctor could tell him I was getting admitted directly to the ICU and that the headaches I was having was due to no oxygen to the brain. When the doctor looked at my chest X-ray he was in shock - it was totally white, which meant I had no air space in my lungs and I was drowning in fluid in my lungs from the Pneumonia. The scariest thing to me is I had no symptoms other than a migraine. So I spent 5 days in the ICU and was sent home with oxygen 24/7. Here I am thinking I am such a Disaster, how did this happen? The thoughts flooded in that I died and was brought back for some reason. I believe everything happens for a reason & the fact that my husband had just arrived in Colorado 4 days prior to this incident was for a reason. Had he not been there to watch me, I wouldn’t have been here to tell my story. To this day I still have to wear oxygen at night to sleep because this incident has caused issues with my heart.


Why do you identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?

I love the Beautiful Disaster brand because that is how I felt. I was a disaster, I couldn’t go anywhere without caring oxygen tanks. I tried everyday to get up get dressed put my makeup on and just feel beautiful while being so sick. I gained a lot of weight during this ordeal so I didn’t feel pretty at all. I was at a point in my life where I was depressed and I just wanted to feel beautiful. Shopping for clothing was hard, nothing I liked that was cute would fit. I got discouraged many times. I was a Beautiful Disaster. 


What has life been like for you?

Life has been a struggle. I want to do the things I used to be able to do. I want to be able to jump up and go do the things I used to. I learned that this setback has changed me for the better I would say. It has taught me to become a better person, I realized I was so wrapped up in who I was and my life I needed something to slow me down and realize there are other things more important than what I thought was so important at that time. I am always there for my friends and anyone who needs a helping hand. I am the first person to help out. I am loving the person I have become and honestly I am a much better version of myself. 


What is life like for you now?

My life 3 years later is amazing. I still have struggles. When I lay down my oxygen still drops, even 3 years later. I refuse to let the struggle I went through dictate how I will live my life. I have finally found a balance and I am back to my old self with the help of wonderful doctors. I live everyday humbly grateful for the second chance I have been given. 

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October 10, 2019