My whole life I was surrounded by abuse. My father beating my mother. When they divorced he the beatings for me got worse. My father never wanted a daughter.. oops here I am. The state took custody of me and sent me to live with my mom. It was a long tough road. I got pregnant at 17 and had my son the day after my 18th birthday. My birthday sucked but when I saw my son the next day it was well worth it. I married his father. Later we had another son. 7 years into our marriage I got my paramedic license and enjoyed every second of my job. Well little did I know my husband was cheating on me while I was at work. We divorced. I fell in love with another paramedic. We were together for 8 years until he got hooked on meth and became very abusive. I was scared to leave and scared to live. I thought after all my years of being a paramedic I could help him. Instead I lost my job, my friends, my career and I had to answer to the licensing board. I ended up getting into legal trouble because of him. Depression set in and I was dealing with PTSD from my career as a Medic.

I committed myself to a mental hospital. Stayed there for a week and was extremely scared to leave but I did. I lived with my mom for awhile.

I met another man and was with him for 3 ½ years before I grew a set and stood up for myself and left him. He too, was abusive.

Everyday of my life is a struggle with depression and PTSD. I don’t sleep at night very well because of horrible nightmares. I’m back in school to get my Paramedic License back. Somedays are better than others.

The only thing I do is wake up very morning and thank god for another day. In school I have taken the students under my wing to help them learn.

When I saw the advertisement for Beautiful Disaster I felt like I belonged somewhere for once.

Thank you,


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October 18, 2019