Larissa's Story: Her Pain Became The Flames That Set Her Soul on Fire
I have been a tribe member since 2019. I found your brand on facebook and looked into what this Tribe is about, and I was so happy to find a group of women that I can share my story to and can somewhat relate to what I've been through. Now, I'm ready to share my story with you and the tribe.
What makes me a Beautiful Disaster? It came from loosing my innocence at a young age to being a destructive teenager to a Woman that I can face in the mirror and fought for my life. My childhood started out a little rough, my parents divorced when I was very young. I lived with my mother and younger brother at the time. My mom worked her tail off to provide for my brother and I. My father only saw us once a week for an hour if that, and every other weekend we stayed with him. I remember being at my grandma's house a lot growing up, I loved being with her. She was my world, but Cancer took her away from me when I was about nine years old. Til this day I miss her so much, I wish I had more time with her. But, I have all her tea cups and tea pots to remind myself she is always with me.
After my grandmother passed away, things started to change. I spent more time at my grandpa's house which wasn't terrible, but wasn't the same. One of my Uncles on my mothers side was living at the house. We were close, until one day I came to visit and I was with my uncle up in his house and I remember the most disgusting, vile, and horrible touch I will never forget. I was only ten years old! He had violated me for years, I didn't know what to do. I felt lost, scared, and alone with no one to turn to. I knew how to keep it all inside due to the pain I was already going through with my grandma. I fell into deep depression, I started drinking a lot of energy drinks with no food or water and smoking cigarettes. I felt ashamed of who I was, but I didn't care at the time because no one else seemed to care either. But in 2008, I was in the hospital passed out from dehydration. I had no nutrients in my system, but straight up poison from energy drinks. I was given treatment at the hospital, but they ran some tests and found they had to question me if I've been sexually assaulted. I was in a position where I could tell them what happened to have my uncle violate me again. Of course I was scared of the outcome, but I knew what I had to do. I went through court with being the victim of Sexual Abuse. It was hard, seeing my worst enemy stare at me in the face about to be put in jail. But, I stared back with fierce and bravery.
Even after all that, the battle wasn't over for me, I struggled with depression. I went through a phase just like all teenagers do. Even though my enemy wasn't on my doorstep anymore, it wasn't the same being around home. I was alone, I couldn't look at my mother, step dad, brother, newborn siblings or any of my family the same. I left home at 16, went to live with a boyfriend in a shed. With no electricity, running water, or source of heat. But, that didn't stop me from quitting school, sure I skipped a lot, but my junior and senior year I got my shit together. I showed up everyday, did my homework, and had a job. With all that hard work, I graduated High School and Managed to go to college and get my certificate for Automotive.
There were times where I wanted to give up, but I knew I was better than that. Today, I am proud to say I haven't touched an energy drink in over ten years now, also haven't smoked a cigarette in three years. I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for my actions I have taken to get here. For once I can truly say that I have faith, true strength, and courage to keep moving with my life. I am a Mechanic at a 4x4 shop, that took awhile to get there. I am building my relationship with my family. And I can say I am happy with my life and i wouldn't have it any other way.
Her Pain Became the flames that set Her Soul on Fire. I know I talk about being a warrior and fighting my battles, but I feel a phoenix acts as a warrior of fire. This collection speaks to me more than the others due to the fact I feel my pain and suffering turns into a burst of power and strength that set me on the path that I'm meant to be on. I have to say I LOVE my Phoenix collection, I collected all of the hoodies from each phoenix arrival. Thank you Beautiful Disaster for letting me share my story. Always remember who you are, stay fearless, and no one and nothing will stand in your way.