Kristen's Story: Don't Judge Me By My Past
Beautiful Disaster is a brand I have found myself identifying with more than I ever thought I could with a brand. With all the trauma that I have gone through and continuously try to overcome, this tribe brings a whole new light into my world.
I am a Beautiful Disaster because:
Thirteen years ago, I fell in love with who I thought was my entire world until abusive tendencies started coming into the picture. The longer I stuck around and fought for him, the more the abuse accumulated until I got pregnant. It was at that point that things began to take a turn for the worst. I knew the relationship wasn’t suitable for having a child and wanted to get out but was unable to due to being isolated. I was told that if I were to abort our child that he would, and I quote, “kill me and bury me in the backyard if I did, and no one would know because no one cares about me.” Later that evening he pulled a gun to my head and shot twice, and whatever angel was watching over me, the gun jammed. He then got a knife and held it to my throat and threatened to kill me. It was at that point that I felt so alone until our son came along. The abuse continued to get worse, and in order to numb all the pain, I then started using substances and quickly became addicted. A couple of years later I got the strength to leave in the middle of the night with my son and left everything to walk 10 miles to my mom’s house and ask for help. My son and I lived with my mom, and I went to school to get my associate’s and created my own at-home baking business that became very well-known around the town, and business was flowing in.
A couple of years went by, and things were going great; I had won full custody of my son, and I was clean and sober. I then met a guy that was a mutual friend of my long-time best friend since junior high school. We began talking every day and talked me into moving up north to Yosemite, CA. I made the move from Palmdale, CA, to Yosemite with my son, and we started life with this guy and his two daughters. I then became pregnant and decided I wanted to move back down to Los Angeles to be closer to my family. Throughout this relationship, it had become very mentally abusive at times, and it became physical when he would drink. I ended up moving back down to LA, and after my daughter was born, things started to get worse; he didn’t want to work, only wanted to drink, and everyone in the house was getting extremely depressed from all of the mental and psychological abuse that was happening. He knew I had come from an abusive relationship, and I just could not understand why he would do the same thing knowing what I had just overcome. Long story short, both of my children were taken by DCFS because I was unable to get myself out of the abusive relationship. Because domestic violence was taking place in the home, the only way to get my kids back was to leave him. The mother instinct in me finally kicked in full gear, and one day he had become so angry after drinking that he was getting physical, and I finally called the police. I was granted a criminal protective order, and he was to no longer be in the home.
Since then, I have not only gotten my kids back but I was granted full custody of both of my kids. I have held down a job at a detox treatment facility, acquired my bachelor's degree, and I am also in the process of taking courses in grad school to get my master’s degree to be a licensed mental health counselor. I am a single mom with no help from either father (my son’s dad overdosed and passed away, and my daughter’s father won’t help unless I get back together with him), and at times even though I live paycheck to paycheck, I am so proud of how far my kids and I have come and how much we have overcome. I am beyond grateful that there is a brand/tribe like Beautiful Disaster where we can all come together and relate to one another.
If I have to be quite honest, all of the BD gear is my favorite. If I had to choose just one, I would have to say “Scripty” is my top favorite. I would hate for someone to judge me by my past, which is why I don’t tell too many people about it.