Meet Janet: Her Husband Was Having An Emotional Affair

Meet Janet: Her Husband Was Having An Emotional Affair

After 11 yrs of solid sobriety under my belt, a new and better self evolved. My husband and I with 28 yrs of marriage and 3 grown children, divorced.  Looking through my husbands cell phone, prompted by my eldest daughter, my husband was having an emotional affair with another women. Blindsided, yes. Mad as hell, yes... And completely lost, yes. 

 

My life as I knew it was thrown on the floor. A 55yr old women who did not even know what a FICA score was, fear set in with the help of a few special women in my life who held my hand every step of the way, helping me pick my life up off the floor and piece it back together. If it wasn't for being willing to listen, follow direction and continue my work on myself through the 12 step program of AA, I would still, 3 yrs later be a hot mess.

 

My 1st year of our separation I had to learn the mechanics of living life. Paying bills on line, budgeting, building my Pet Sitting Business and dealing with my sobriety as I hit many bumps on the road of life. One of the major victories I achieved was holding my ground on what I would need to survive with alimony, retirement and having a roof over my head. 

 

My 2nd year I was court ordered to refinance a home we owned together, "ME" I now own a home. I learned fast and hard all about how to qualify for home ownership, deal with home issues and sleeping alone. In order to move forward physical, mentally and spiritually, I needed to see my part, accept and forgive.

 

Mid year, I made a choice to release my resentments towards my ex so we could pull together for our children. We now get along better than when we were married. Go figure. Now entering my 3rd year I have a beautiful, warm, cozy house I call home. I designed and landscaped the front and backyard which is one of my places to find peace as I pick weeds, plant and water. My love for nature, hiking and the beach keeps me balanced, spiritually and physically fit.

 

A common thread through my entire life has been my relationship with my dogs. My St. Bernard's have helped me through awkward stages of my youth and motherhood. My Great Danes continue to pull me through my sobriety, my divorce and my new chapter of ME!!! I have discovered the freedom to be me, a Beautiful Disaster, Perfectly Imperfect, living life on life's terms to the best of my ability–sober, confident and peaceful.

 

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Comments

Jodi Belcher September 28 2019

Your story sounds so much like mine. Still married husband is still in love with his ex. He tells me he’s not but I read his messages on Facebook to his ex sister in law. Plus he always asking certain friends to have affairs with him. I love him and can’t amazing my life without him but don’t think I can live like this much longer. Not sure if I’m a Beautiful Disaster but I’m a Beautiful Mess.

Richard Higgins July 17 2019

I WAS MARRIED 49yrs ,HANG ON TO WHAT YOU HAVE VERY LONESOME LIFE , when you lose a partner.

Kimberlie Hernandez July 13 2019

My husband did the same but we have been married 20 years .. 4 kids and he’s not a true man he’s does help or support his kids …I’m so proud you found yourself

Tami Kokko July 10 2019

Your story sounds almost the same as mine. 31 years of marriage, husband had an affair, left me. Except I deal with depression every day. Mine is still not finished, I cannot write my story yet. I am a Beautiful Disaster, but a story only half way through.