After 11 yrs of solid sobriety under my belt, a new and better self evolved. My husband and I with 28 yrs of marriage and 3 grown children, divorced.  Looking through my husbands cell phone, prompted by my eldest daughter, my husband was having an emotional affair with another women. Blindsided, yes. Mad as hell, yes... And completely lost, yes. 

 

My life as I knew it was thrown on the floor. A 55yr old women who did not even know what a FICA score was, fear set in with the help of a few special women in my life who held my hand every step of the way, helping me pick my life up off the floor and piece it back together. If it wasn't for being willing to listen, follow direction and continue my work on myself through the 12 step program of AA, I would still, 3 yrs later be a hot mess.

 

My 1st year of our separation I had to learn the mechanics of living life. Paying bills on line, budgeting, building my Pet Sitting Business and dealing with my sobriety as I hit many bumps on the road of life. One of the major victories I achieved was holding my ground on what I would need to survive with alimony, retirement and having a roof over my head. 

 

My 2nd year I was court ordered to refinance a home we owned together, "ME" I now own a home. I learned fast and hard all about how to qualify for home ownership, deal with home issues and sleeping alone. In order to move forward physical, mentally and spiritually, I needed to see my part, accept and forgive.

 

Mid year, I made a choice to release my resentments towards my ex so we could pull together for our children. We now get along better than when we were married. Go figure. Now entering my 3rd year I have a beautiful, warm, cozy house I call home. I designed and landscaped the front and backyard which is one of my places to find peace as I pick weeds, plant and water. My love for nature, hiking and the beach keeps me balanced, spiritually and physically fit.

 

A common thread through my entire life has been my relationship with my dogs. My St. Bernard's have helped me through awkward stages of my youth and motherhood. My Great Danes continue to pull me through my sobriety, my divorce and my new chapter of ME!!! I have discovered the freedom to be me, a Beautiful Disaster, Perfectly Imperfect, living life on life's terms to the best of my ability–sober, confident and peaceful.

 

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March 15, 2019