Brenda's Story: No Longer Asking For Permission
I married very young; I was eighteen. My husband was so great when we were dating and got married. Nine months almost to the day my mother passed away from cancer and the next day my husband started beating on me. The beatings continued for a couple of years. He turned so evil just like someone had switched on a light switch. He would call me names everyday and constantly tell me how homely, ugly and no one would ever love me. I heard this from him everyday for almost 20 years. I had two children by him and a third one that died at birth as I was trying to get away from him and fell down a hill that caused me to lose my baby at seven months pregnant. I tried so many times to leave him but back in the 1979 to the 80’s there was no help for someone like me. They always told me to go back to my husband, so I did. My mom would have been the one person that could have helped me, and she passed away. So, I always returned to him knowing what I was going to have to go through. Long story short in 1995 I kicked him out. We got divorced 1997 on our 20th wedding anniversary.
In 1996 I met someone that made me feel like I was important. He didn’t drink, he didn’t smoke or do drugs. He was happy go lucky and made me feel good when I was around him. I got pregnant and he was so excited as this would be his first child. When I was three months pregnant, he decided he missed his ex-wife and wanted to go back to her. I showed him the door and he left. Two weeks later he came after me as he wanted the child. He held me hostage in my truck as at the time I drove tractor trailer truck over the road, and 2.5 hours continued to beat me until I was unconscious, I would wake up and he would strangle me until I passed out and then he would do it again. He finally told me I had to die. I looked at him and asked about the baby, he stared at me then got out of my truck. I managed to sit up lock the doors and drive away. Never to have contact with him again. I had a gorgeous baby girl and have raised her on my own for over 24 years with my other two daughters of course. This is what makes me a Beautiful Disaster as I lived through this, and I am a much better person because of it.
I am a disaster; I have been single for over twenty-four years. I do not believe I could or would be able to trust another man or any relationship that isn’t with my children and grandchildren. I saw your advertisement on Facebook, and I identified with all these clothes. I may not be beautiful to look at, but I am a beautiful person inside. I am strong and honest. I am tuff and very defensive of people that need help. I had a small craft business for awhile and the name of it was “Angels to Dragons” as they both are guardians.
It was tough when I first became alone. I struggled to feed my children and I worked three jobs to try to make ends meet. But, God knows I did it and I smiled and made my children happy.
I got strong, I worked hard, and I learned to forgive. I forgave my ex-husband, and I forgave my youngest daughters’ father for what they did to me. I told them both at different times that I forgave them, and both were completely puzzled and asked me why. I just told them that I had my own reasons that they didn’t need to know.
I am the happiest I have ever been. I do as I want, say what I want, and I never feel like I must look over my shoulder. I am happy and excited with life. I am brave, strong and a good person. I express myself as I choose with no permission. I have a lot of tattoos, and piercings that I was told I could never have, and I love everyone of them. I am 63 years old and proud of it.
My favorite so far is the “Perfectly Imperfect” zipper sweatshirt with the red roses. I love it and have bought it for myself. I only wish I had got the smaller size as this sweatshirt is so true to size and great quality. My middle daughter is going through a rough divorce, so I got her the sweatshirt that says, “No Longer Asking For Permission”. She wears it everyday with pride. Thank you for having such great products. I got my pallet yesterday and absolutely love it.