My story of survival is different from most. Mine is the type of story you read about in a book, see in a movie or hear about in the news. I have looked into the eyes of true evil. I have lived with evil. He seemed so "normal" at first. He was part of a construction crew that was building my home. I had just moved 3,000 miles from home for a fresh start. I'd been hurt in a car accident and spent several years recovering.  I was alone and didn't know a soul. He was so helpful; even offering to work for free on his days off. We started dating and eventually he moved in. Things changed almost immediately.  I wasn't allowed to be home alone because he "worried about me". Soon I wasn't allowed to use a phone or computer or TV unless I was with him. He started taking my car keys, claiming he "forgot to give them back to me". Eventually I wasn't allowed to drive my car or even go for walks. It didn't take long before I wasn't allowed to leave the bedroom for any reason other than to cook or do laundry. In public we were the perfect couple. Life behind closed doors was different. It escalated quickly. I found cameras hidden EVERYWHERE in the house. There was a tracker on my car for the few times I was able to go shopping or run errands. I learned that he'd been in a very well known biker gang and had been to prison multiple times for violent crimes. He was 1 of several that kidnapped, raped, and tortured a woman. They connected jumper cables to car batteries and electrocuted her. Somehow, she lived. There were others, as well. I tried to leave many times. He always found me. Whether I was across town or across country; he found me. The punishment was always severe. If I refused to come back he'd threaten harm to  my family. One of his favorite games was to make me have "accidents" so he could come "rescue me". There was the time the brand new washing machine water line was cut and the electrical cord frayed. The hot water was spraying on me while the the cold was aimed at the electrical cord. Smoke was everywhere.  I'll never know how I wasn't electrocuted. The next day the brand new dryer caught on fire, the refrigerator fell on top of me and the air conditioner also caught on fire. (No, there wasn't a problem with the wiring in the house. It was all inspected.) He has locked me in the car and driven me to the middle of the desert at night, explaining how the holes had already been dug and showing me the shovel and other "tools" in the trunk. He told me that I would never be found. He has held a razor to my face while he laughed. He said that he wouldn't kill me with it, he just wanted me to be ugly on the outside so everyone could see my ugliness, like he did. He has followed me all over the country. He finds me, stalks me, hurts me, then brings me "home". I have had to leave with nothing but the clothes on my back so many times. I can't take my belongings or vehicle because he hides trackers and GPS in my things. I even traded my car for an RV so I can live in hiding. I move when he finds me. Unfortunately,  he found the RV several states away. He messed with the wiring, causing an me to have an accident on the highway in rush hour traffic. I've gone to the police many times. He is smart. They have a hard time making charges stick. I have a 20 minute recording of him going into detail about how he is going to dismember my body after he's done making me pay for hurting him. I lived in safe houses throughout the court process. I had to be moved repeatedly because he was able to find me. The charges were dropped to misdemeanor fighting because I wasn't able to prove that it was ME he was talking about; he never said my full name and claimed he was venting to me about a hypothetical situation. The judge said we all knew the truth, but couldn't dismiss the possibility that he was telling the truth. He received probation. He has violated dozens of times. The probation officer told me that she refuses to violate him because she knows that he will receive no more than 30 days in jail and I will pay the price with my life. We hear the word torture and associate it with scary movies. There are no words to truly describe what TORTURE is. I pray that no one ever has to experience the things I have. Pain, fear, agony; those words don't begin to explain what the body goes through. The police all just tell me to buy a gun. I will look over my shoulder and in shadows until the day I die. Hopefully one day I will stop looking for the cameras hidden around me. My struggle for survival is literally life and death. I have gone broke from starting over and living on the run. My savings are gone. My home is gone. My car is gone. My Motorhome is destroyed. I just filed bankruptcy. I cannot run and hide, anymore. I will stand strong. I have learned how precious life is. I have learned what true fear and pain are. In the midst of this, I have also learned what true love is. I have found a man that has stood by my side through this over the last year. He gave up his home and his job, vowing to keep me safe. We have to move frequently.  We can't tell friends or family where we are. We change phones frequently. But we are together. My Life may look like a disaster. I have aged 20 years over these last 6 years. People tell me I look terrible. To some I may seem like a Disaster. I am a BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! I AM A SURVIVOR! I AM A FIGHTER! I WILL CONTINUE MY FIGHT FOR MY LIFE! MY STORY IS NOT OVER. HE DID NOT EXTINGUISH MY FLAME!

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April 28, 2022