Beauty in the Chaos: Yoli’s Journey of Resilience, Hope, and Rising Strong

What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
Pain, trauma, poor decisions — but without regrets, because it is what has made me who I am today. Through perseverance and resilience, I get back up every time. I don’t give up on hope. Hope for a better life for my kids and for myself.

Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
The first time I saw the Beautiful Disaster brand, I was celebrating a great score on the Army Physical Fitness Test with my 1st Sergeant. She was wearing a Beautiful Disaster hoodie because we had changed out of uniform into civilian clothes. I said to her, “OMG I love your hoodie! Perfectly Imperfect Beautiful Disaster! I want one!”

It was the moment I realized there was a brand out there for those of us who did not have the picture-perfect story, but saw the beauty within the chaos.

Tell Us Your Beautiful Disaster Story:
CPS didn’t think my mom was good for me to be around. She had depression, multiple suicide attempts, hospitalizations, as well as alcohol and drug addictions. My dad didn’t want to take me from her, so he just made sure I knew he was always there. I still reassure him to this day that he made the right decision.

I love my mom, and I know she had trauma of her own. She did the best she could. Did it negatively affect me throughout my life and my decision-making? Absolutely. I used to say I have a broken picker — I frequently chose to be with men who were emotionally or physically abusive.

After getting out of the frying pan of the first marriage, I jumped into the fire of a decade-long second marriage. The first marriage’s beauty in the chaos was my baby girl and her half-sisters, whom I adore. My hope was that in leaving, they would see that you do not have to be treated poorly by a man.

My second marriage’s beauty in the chaos was my son, who has grown into an amazing man, and his half-siblings, who I still look at as my own kids. My second marriage ended after I joined the Army — because he apparently didn’t like the stronger version of me and moved in a stripper while I was away in training.

I thank God for that “stripper” every day! (No worries, she got out too eventually.)

I didn’t give up on hope for a better life. I focused on my kids and my work. I had multiple failed attempts at relationships and multiple injuries in the Army between 2012–2020, but in the meantime, I found a man I could only have dreamt of! He treats me as if I’m a goddess, treats my kids like they are his, and goes above and beyond for all of us in the most unimaginable ways.

When I needed a car shortly after we met, he bought me one. When I needed a parenting plan to avoid getting kicked out of the Army, he moved across the country to be my plan. When I had to have spine surgery due to an Army injury, he did everything he could to reduce my pain and fear.

When he was offered his dream job overseas, he gave it up so he wouldn’t uproot my son’s life. When we needed to stay stationed in the same place just one more year so my son could be a legal adult before the Army moved us again, he deployed voluntarily to a combat zone just to keep us here.

The nine months he was deployed was probably more difficult than anything I’ve ever experienced. I was struggling with undiagnosed major health problems, my mom had a heart attack, one of my best friends was murdered by her fiancé — and to top it all off, my husband was in a combat zone dealing with endless drone strikes and ended up suffering a traumatic brain injury.

He is okay and home now. He is still serving in the Army and receives treatment for his injuries.

I have multiple diagnoses, and I am receiving VA Disability for the service-connected injuries, as well as treatment for multiple autoimmune diseases. My mother is still alive — her health is poor, but she is fighting to live, which is a wonderful improvement considering all the years that were the opposite.

My father is still amazing, still showing me regularly that he is always there for me. My kids are grown, but they call me their rock — and nothing compares to that kind of success.

What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
There have been so many moments of having to turn things around, it’s hard to pinpoint just one. Through it all, I think it has been perseverance, resilience, and hope.

I stopped saying my picker was broken. And when I found a good one, I repeatedly told myself, “This is good. This is healthy. You like this. Don’t F@ck this up!”

I get knocked down, but I get up again — and if I got up last time, I can get up this time. I cling to the good moments, however fleeting, brush off the bad, and wear my battle scars with pride that I survived, even if I have to fight for it.

Name 3 Things You’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:

1. I started making Indigenous art and turned it into a small business that I can do on my schedule — and not have to worry if another doctor appointment or autoimmune flare is going to make me lose my job.

2. I distance myself from those who harm my joy.

3. I reach out to friends and family, asking for help when I need it — realizing that asking for help does not make me weak. It is a sign of strength to recognize that we don’t get through this life alone.

What Is Your Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection, Past or Present, and Why?
In the past, my faves were Wolf, Pain Into Power, and Hating Me — because I was in the Army and felt I was turning my pain into power. I had been thrown to the wolves multiple times in my life and always came out leading. And because girls can be really mean sometimes, I knew girls were jealous of me most of my life — so “Hating Me” wasn’t going to make them pretty.

Although all of those still resonate with me, the one I connect with the most today is H.O.P.E. — Hold On, Pain Ends. This one came out right after I started receiving diagnosis and treatment for my autoimmune diseases. I started crying when I saw it and immediately sent a link to my son and said, “This is what I want for Christmas.” He loved it too — but forgot about it by the time he was ready to get me a Christmas present, so I still have not purchased any items from this particular collection.

I plan to — as soon as they’re back in stock in the sizes I need.