My name is Wilma. I'm 36 years old... This is my story. However, I don't want anyone to read this and feel sorry for me. I hope my story gives someone else strength and courage to go on no matter how bad life may seem at times. I'm not perfect. I'm not Super Woman. I am just a perfectly imperfect woman, who embraces my scars, flaws and experiences (good and bad) and use them to make me stronger.
I was raised in a good home, with good parents all my life. They drank some, but they never put it before us kids. I had a pretty good childhood, and my parents encouraged us to be our unique selves, and to not pay attention to what others thought. They taught me to stand up for what you believe in- even if you stand alone. And not to judge others just because they choose to sin differently than you.
At 13 years old, I wrecked a 4 wheeler- slid 25 feet in gravel on my face -which resulted in most of the bones on the right side of my face being crushed- including my eye socket. It tore all muscles ligaments and tendons in that side of my face. I went thru multiple reconstructive surgeries- and despite the fact that they told my mother I would never see out of my right eye, or blink on that side again- I refused to accept that. They said I had torn my tear duct out and would never have tear building abilities in that eye again. Still I refused to accept that. Well, 27 reconstructive surgeries later- my 13 year old stubborness paid off. They removed my bandages, and I was blinking, seeing and making tears. Over the next 3 years and many Dr visits my face healed- but left me with scars (few compared to what we imagined) that I will carry forever with me as a reminder that my stubbornness to give in when times got tough- very possibly may have helped me to make it thru something that could have killed me. Even now, 23 years later, I still look in the mirror at those scars everyday. I dont try to hide them. They are part of my story. And I am reminded each day by those scars that I am strong..
Fast forward to 12th grade high school- my senior year. I was 6 months from graduating With the classmates I had been with since kindergarten. After a few bad things happened in our family-My parents decide we have to move away. So I move in with my brother, start helping care for his son, get a job- and I graduate the 12th grade. Married at 21 to my first husband. That lasted a year, when we realized we were just young- and neither of us knew what it meant to be married. We divorced after a year of marriage.
At 23 I had my first son, with the man who would end up being my 2nd husband- my entire pregnancy thru birth my husband was in jail. He got out he was a changed man. A violent man. He came out of jail with a drug habit that hadn't gotten better- but worse behind bars. He started beating on me- then I found out I was pregnant again. I moved in with my parents and lived there when my second child was born. My ex continued to stalk me and beat me despite an EPO/DVO which he broke and went to jail for numerous times. And resulted in me spending numerous hours in hospital at different times. He never seemed to stay in jail very long. Even after stabbing me 6 times in the back- he went to prison and I raised my babies. I end up with PTSD, and severe trust issues for life.
Met and married my 3rd husband while my kids bio dad was in prison- and we were together 8 years. He worked but wouldn't pay any bills, leaving all of that on me. I worked and provided for my family as a counselor at a facility for troubled teens with addiction issues, and abuse and neglect. I worked there for 9 years total, which opened the door for me to be able to become a Substance Abuse Counselor on a wider spectrum. I found I had a heart for people with addiction- because everyone I ever loved suffered from some form of addiction. And the very thing that changed my childs bio dad into a monster- was the very thing I had a heart for helping others overcome. My 3rd husband and I divorce, after I find he had been lying and cheating for 6 years of the relationship..So once again Im a single mother. But I love my children with all I am, so that time with them is a blessing to me. I provide for them. Tried dating my childhood best friend- who ends up lying about being in recovery- he skips parole and ends up back in jail- but not before he sells everything I own(while I'm working), and literally drains everything I worked for years to build.
Fast forward to 2016. Met my husband James thru a mutual friend. I like being single and have no want to be in a relationship. His persistence, and our friends as well, paid off. We hung out as friends at first, then it turned into more. 1 month later we move in together-6 months later we get married. We will celebrate 2 years of marriage this month. He is truly the one God meant for me. He treats me and my kids amazing, and I could not ask for a better man. He loves me despite my scars, flaws and past- and reminds me daily that I am strong, independent, beautiful and that my life made me that way. He has worked to help me get past my trust issues, and I know I never have to live the way of my past again. He's my best friend.
So, despite the disaster I've lived Ive learned that I am a beautiful disaster- and that someone loves me just as the Beautiful Disaster I am..
Thanks - Wilma