From a young girl, I was introduced to what abuse was and it seemed that I would find it no matter what ...but, now is the time for me to break free and learn who I am underneath it all.. I am a survivor and proud to be just that..
I think this year has been the hardest of my life, but I'm still here and alive. I almost lost my life several times last year, and if that doesn't show a Beautiful Disaster I don't know what does. I was seeing someone that actually saved my life, to only want to take it away several months later. In between the two instances, I had Covid pneumonia in Sept, and it brought me too my knees with just the sheer amount it takes from you, and from anyone around you...  
Just when you think things are getting better, the man you love is triggered and puts a loaded gun to your head and says, "you don't deserve to live.". At that very minute my relationship ended.
A few months later, here I am still standing. I know I deserve to live. I am a Beautiful Disaster, for being strong enough to say I need to work on rebuilding myself, and knowing that we all need help along the way. I know that I can be so much better then what I was. I know I have a voice that shouldn't be silenced anymore. I have a voice to say "thank you God" for lifting me up. I have a voice that says I will take all of the shit in the past is now in the past.. 
One thing that really does help me through it is to wear the BD shirt that says "Giving A Fuck Doesn't Go With My Outfit"...it makes me smile, and gives me courage... I don't fit into my old body and person...I am stronger and I will be okay again...

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June 21, 2022