Vonetta's Story: Surviving Mental & Physical Abuse
I am a survivor of mental, physical abuse. I also have a health condition. Surviving the abusive marriage made me a stronger woman. If there is darkness, there is also light and to never give up on yourself.
Beautiful Disaster is more than just a clothing brand it’s where men and women come together and rise each other up without the judgment. Beautiful disaster makes you feel like a superhero nothing can bring us down. You been down for so long now the only way to go is up. I am proud to be part of Beautiful Disaster Tribe.
I was previously married for 10 years , 3 years out of 10 was good. The 7 years my ex husband was an alcoholic and abusive. The abuse started of as being verbal and things got physical. I became very good at hiding my pain with a smile and acted like we were a great family with no issues. Every time he would put a hand on me I felt like it was my fault maybe I said something wrong or did something I shouldn’t have. I have 3 children with him so I tried to make things work out. I pretended I was happy even though I wasn’t but I didn’t want my kids to have a broken family and I cared about what my family and people would think of me if I would leave him. At the time I figured I would be better with him because I built my whole life around him and I was scared what my world would be without him in it. I stayed with him even though I knew he was cheating on me multiple times. Knowing he was talking to other women and wish he could talk and treat me the way he did with them broke my heart but I acted like I didn’t know and was in denial hoping it was just a phase and we would be happy again like we once were. But really I was fooling myself.
What made me turn my life around was that, He told me he didn’t love me anymore and he found someone that he really loved..He left me for another woman, few months later they ended up having a child together. I waited for a few months thinking he would end things with her and but he didn’t . I finally realized I was just torturing myself with all the waiting and hope. I was a afraid to move one with my life. One day I looked at my children and I saw they knew I was hurting and wondered if I was gonna leave them too. My children motivated me to become stronger and stand up for myself. So I filed for a divorced and got full custody of my children because I didn’t want him to take away what I had left.
My life now is great I remarried to wonderful guy, I am still getting used to the way he treats me with kind and love. He has shown me how it is feels to be loved and how I should be treated. My life is less stressful and realize that in my last marriage the abuse wasn’t my fault and I’ve learned to stop blaming myself. As weird as it may sound I forgave him for all the wrong he has done to me and wish him the best in life, and finds the help he needs.
My favorite Beautiful Disaster clothing would be Beautifully Broken, You Don’t Know My Story and Giving A Fuck. “Beautifully broken” because even though I was going thru a hard time I always thought of myself as a beautiful person I believed I had a good heart and always but others first before myself. “You don’t know my story “because some people judge you just by looking at you and they know your situation. “Giving a fuck” because I don’t give a fuck what people think about me, I do what makes me happy and I don’t have to please anyone but myself.
“Each scar serves as a reminder of who I am, Who I can become, And who I must never be again."
I wear them proudly because there are some lessons I can’t afford to learn again.”