Vonetta's Story: Surviving Mental & Physical Abuse

Vonetta's Story: Surviving Mental & Physical Abuse

 

I am a survivor of mental, physical abuse. I also have a health condition. Surviving the abusive marriage made me a stronger woman. If there is darkness, there is also light and to never give up on yourself.

Beautiful Disaster is more than just a clothing brand it’s where men and women come together and rise each other up without the judgment. Beautiful disaster makes you feel like a superhero nothing can bring us down. You been down for so long now the only way to go is up. I am proud to be part of Beautiful Disaster Tribe. 

I was previously married for 10 years , 3 years out of 10 was good. The 7 years my ex husband was an alcoholic and abusive. The abuse started of as being verbal and things got physical. I became very good at hiding my pain with a smile and acted like we were a great family with no issues. Every time he would put a hand on me I felt like it was my fault maybe I said something wrong or did something I shouldn’t have. I have 3 children with him so I tried to make things work out. I pretended I was happy even though I wasn’t but I didn’t want my kids to have a broken family and I cared about what my family and people would think of me if I would leave him. At the time I figured I would be better with him because I built my whole life around him and I was scared what my world would be without him in it. I stayed with him even though I knew he was cheating on me multiple times. Knowing he was talking to other women and wish he could talk and treat me the way he did with them broke my heart but I acted like I didn’t know and was in denial hoping it was just a phase and we would be happy again like we once were. But really I was fooling myself.

What made me turn my life around was that, He told me he didn’t love me anymore and he found someone that he really loved..He left me for another woman, few months later they ended up having a child together. I waited for a few months thinking he would end things with her and but he didn’t . I finally realized I was just torturing myself with all the waiting and hope. I was a afraid to move one with my life. One day I looked at my children and I saw they knew I was hurting and wondered if I was gonna leave them too. My children motivated me to become stronger and stand up for myself. So I filed for a divorced and got full custody of my children because I didn’t want him to take away what I had left. 

My life now is great I remarried to wonderful guy, I am still getting used to the way he treats me with kind and love. He has shown me how it is feels to be loved and how I should be treated. My life is less stressful and realize that in my last marriage the abuse wasn’t my fault  and I’ve learned to stop blaming myself. As weird as it may sound I forgave him for all the wrong he has done to me and wish him the best in life, and finds the help he needs.

My favorite Beautiful Disaster clothing would be Beautifully Broken, You Don’t Know My Story and Giving A Fuck.  “Beautifully broken” because even though I was going thru a hard time I always thought of myself as a beautiful person I believed I had a good heart and always but others first before myself.  “You don’t know my story “because some  people judge you  just by looking at you and they know your situation. “Giving a fuck” because I don’t give a fuck what people think about me, I do what makes me happy and I don’t have to please anyone but myself.

“Each scar serves as a reminder of  who I am, Who I can become, And who I must never be again."

I wear them proudly because there are some lessons I can’t afford to learn again.”

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sashaSphinx18

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Comments

PEGGY TENORIO 3 days ago

Jennifer nailed it. I am torturing myself waiting for him to change. You are an inspiration. Thank you.

robin January 31 2021

I love reading peoples stories and comments. I am very slowly working on getting pieces of all the BD that i can. Like life it is one thing or day at a time. Someday I will start telling my story. For now i read all of yours! My thoughts and Prayers go out to all of you and then myself and grandson i am raising. My love to all of you and i say stay strong and beautiful cuz we got this!

Shari January 26 2021

You are one of the reasons that women are learning that they can have more. Ever since the first thing I bought from here I have proceeded To buy almost everything you sell. Now everyone I know knows about it and wants to buy the outfits some of my friends and family I buy for them because I know at least part of their story. My story goes like most I thought I was smart and beautiful and could do anything I pleased. With that comes the men are lying in wait because they know you’re a target all they have to do is tell us how beautiful we are and there we go. Been beaten and abused so many times in different ways I can’t express how these outfits make me feel.

JOHNNA GALLAUGHER January 25 2021

I love all your stories and I to am a survivor of sexual abuse ,mental and physical, I forgave my ex before he died and I remembered that I would not be able to move on if I didn’t, I took care of him until he died ,got nothing because we hadn’t filed taxes when we moved in together even though we were together thirteen years ,thats ok now because I am alive and he died a lonely heartbroken man. He died from alcohol abuse sad .

Lizzie January 24 2021

Girls, Unfortunately- We have to FORGIVE the ones that hurt us. It’s all good, Let go. We cant let them keep getting to us. DONT LOOK IN THE REVIEW. LOOK FORWARD. Times WILL Get Better. XOXO God BLess

Donalda Langille January 24 2021

Reading your story brought tears to my eyes and reminded me of the 17 years of hell I went thru.I am 60 now and starting my life over Again…..once you go down the rabbit hole it is hard to get out.I thought I was doing great but it seems it may not be meant for me.

Candy Stormo January 24 2021

wow I’ve been thru it twice..getting ready to divorce for the 2nd time..I’ve moved from that state and trying to better myself for my kid…reading your story makes me knowingly believe I can do it!!! Thanks for sharing your story!!!

Lynn Ruehs January 24 2021

Thank you so very much for sharing your story!! Makes me think of how many women are out there goin through the same BS as you and I went through. I pray for them and their families. I also pray for you!! Thanks so much!! With beautiful disaster we can be proud of where we came from and we are stronger for it!!

Kathryn Mckinley January 24 2021

You are amazing.

Amanda McGowan January 24 2021

Beautifully said. I absolutely love this company and everything it stands for. Keep your head up as your crown looks fantastic on you.

Christa January 24 2021

Beautiful and a BadAss! Your strength that lead to your realization reminds me that though we may be kicked when we’re down— I’ll be dammed, if my kids my soul stay down and defeated. Truly happy for you and the next chapter in your life.
I hope to have your strength. I bought pieces and can’t wear them all the time. My strength comes and goes. I’ll wear all my gear in a busy place with dark shades a face mask sometimes. Hoping to reach someone. Maybe they’ll google- maybe they’ll know that we’re all out there…
#Giving a Fuck #Phoenix I rise