Taking My Power Back: Andrea’s Story of Survival, Healing, and Choosing Herself

WHAT MAKES YOU A BEAUTIFUL DISASTER?

I have survived things that no one should ever have to see.

I have the scars to prove it, and I didn’t let any of it change who I am as a person.

WHY DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH THE BEAUTIFUL DISASTER BRAND?

I am all for women who have survived other human beings taking their power back, grieving loudly, and helping themselves and others hold perpetrators accountable for their actions.

TELL US YOUR BEAUTIFUL DISASTER STORY

I have a few stories.

I self-harmed from the ages of 13 to 20. For a long time, I would only make it a few months before returning to it.

Today, I have been free from self-harm for more than two years.

My story of abuse began much earlier.

I was sexually assaulted by a classmate from the ages of 5 to 9. I tried to tell adults what was happening, but I didn’t receive the help I needed. Eventually, I started telling the other kids in our class what he was doing to me, and the abuse stopped.

At 17, I was sexually assaulted again, this time by a coworker I had trusted. It took me months to fully understand what had happened to me.

Later, after losing someone I thought was my soulmate, I entered a relationship that became abusive.

I became pregnant within days of the relationship beginning. I barely knew him, but suddenly we were having a baby together.

The relationship became a cycle of emotional, psychological, financial, physical, and sexual abuse.

He threatened to take his own life if I didn’t marry him. He slapped me. He manipulated me. He tried to isolate me from other people. I couldn’t go anywhere without him, which he framed as simply wanting to be with me all the time.

There were constant lies, excuses, manipulation, and blame.

I became financially dependent because I was so sick that I couldn’t work. He got whatever he wanted while our bills went unpaid.

After I gave birth, the abuse continued.

There were moments when I knew I didn’t trust him alone with our baby. He would use the baby against me, including preventing me from leaving with my child when I needed to get away and calm myself.

I knew this wasn’t just about me anymore.

I had to get my child and myself out of that hell.

It took strategy, but I did it.

I have looked evil in the eyes.

And I survived it.

WHAT HAPPENED FOR YOU TO TURN IT AROUND?

My turning point came when the abuse was happening in front of my baby.

My baby was a newborn, but that didn’t matter. I knew I didn’t trust him alone with my child, and I knew I had to get us out.

Then came the day when he took every charger I could have used to charge my phone and hid my divorce papers.

That was the moment I knew.

If I didn’t leave that day, I was afraid he would erase my existence from this earth.

So I left.

I got my baby and myself out.

NAME 3 THINGS YOU’VE DONE TO MOVE CLOSER TO HAPPINESS

Besides getting out:

1. I started rebuilding my future. I’m back to work part-time, I’m a full-time college student, and I’m working toward becoming a licensed tattoo artist.
2. I’m in therapy and healing from the trauma. I refuse to let what happened change who I am.
3. I found pieces of myself again. I picked my love of reading back up, and I’m kicking ass at being a solo mom. I’ve been raising my child on my own since the day we left.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE BEAUTIFUL DISASTER COLLECTION, PAST OR PRESENT, AND WHY?

I’m not sure I can recall all of the collections exactly.

I don’t own any Beautiful Disaster pieces yet, but I wanted to share my story anyway.

The message behind Beautiful Disaster and what it represents to women like me is what made me want to tell my story.