Stronger Than Leukemia: One Fighter's Beautiful Return to the Mat

What makes me a Beautiful Disaster?
I’m battling an incurable leukemia.

I am 62 years old, and in 2019 I was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia (CLL). It came as a complete shock — to myself and my family. That day was also the beginning of the COVID-19 shutdown. At the time, I had been training in jiujitsu for nine years. It was my passion, my place of peace. But suddenly, my oncologist told me I needed to stop training. Because of my compromised immune system, I was at high risk of serious illness or worse.

That news devastated me.

Emotionally, I was crushed. All I could think about was: What’s going to happen to my three sons and my husband if I die?
Mentally, it broke my spirit. I slipped into depression, mourning the loss of the life I had built as an educator — and wondering how I would even access medical care for my treatments without my job.
Physically, I was robbed of my strength and vitality. I could no longer train. And with COVID in full force, the world seemed to close in on me.

Stepping away from jiujitsu took everything that brought me stability and joy. My passion, my peace of mind — gone. I felt like there was nothing left for me.

But I wasn’t done.

After six long years off the mat, I returned.

And it was like waking up after a long, dark sleep.
I felt renewed. I felt powerful again. I felt alive.

It reminded me that I was not, and am not, defined by leukemia. That I am stronger than this disease. I made a choice — not to let leukemia control my life. I gave my struggles to God and decided I was going to live my best life.

That faith has carried me. It’s helped me change my mindset, find peace, and start healing. Making jewelry has also helped — it gives me quiet time for my mind and brings peace to my heart. I even started teaching a kids’ BJJ class at my local YMCA, which fills me with joy and purpose.

To anyone out there who is facing a life-changing diagnosis, I want to say this:
Give it to God. Live your best life. Savor every minute with the people you love. Make memories with those who show up for you. And never stop fighting — you are stronger than your illness.

May God fill your heart and soul with all the peace and happiness that you truly deserve. ❤️