Laura's Story: The Weight of Loss, the Will to Rise.
What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
I have been through a lot, especially concerning the death of my husband by suicide. I am currently active duty in the Navy, a choice I made after enduring years of harassment, bullying, and abuse. Despite everything, I continue to rise, which is what makes me a Beautiful Disaster.
Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
I truly believe I am a phoenix rising from the ashes. I have faced immense hardships, and every time I try to get back up, life seems to knock me down again. My husband’s death hit me so hard that I thought I’d never recover. The stress from his loss has taken a toll on my physical health, but I refuse to stay down permanently.
My Story
Good evening. My name is Laura, and this marks the second Christmas without my husband, Jason.
My journey began with a traumatic childhood. I was institutionalized, where I endured abuse and was subjected to unnecessary medical treatments. The staff told my mother to abandon me, but she refused. She took me out of that environment, and we moved to California, where I eventually recovered enough to pursue a regular education. Unfortunately, the bullying, harassment, and even assault continued throughout my high school years. It became so severe that I had to transfer schools, but I managed to graduate.
After high school, I worked sporadically while attending college. However, the shadows of my past followed me—I lost several jobs due to the interference of old bullies. Eventually, my mother was laid off, and we relocated to Arizona, hoping for a fresh start.
In Arizona, I found my first apartment and secured a job at a call center. It was 2001, and on my second day of work, the world changed with the events of 9/11. During that time, I met a man who seemed kind at first, but his true colors soon emerged. He became abusive—physically, emotionally, and verbally. He isolated me from friends and family, committed fraud in my name, and left me devastated, both financially and emotionally. At my lowest point, I felt like a complete failure.
Determined to change my life, I joined the Navy. I made it through basic training and specialized job training, where I met Jason. I was hesitant to open up after my past abusive relationship, but Jason broke through my walls. We discovered we shared the same birthday (February 15), both of our fathers were named Ken, and both had served in the Army, even though Jason and I were Navy.
Our bond grew quickly. We got along effortlessly, and eventually, we fell in love. Jason proposed two years after we met, and we married after our first deployment. Despite the distance that came with our military duties, we supported each other unconditionally. He loved me for who I was, and I cherished him deeply.
In February 2015, our daughter was born—a precious gift I never thought I’d have.
But tragedy struck again. My beloved mother-in-law passed away suddenly, and I suspect medical malpractice played a role, though I can’t prove it. Jason was devastated, and it marked the beginning of his mental and physical decline. To make matters worse, my father-in-law remarried a woman who harbored hatred toward Jason. Around the same time, I lost my own father and was cut off by my stepmother. In 2022, my mother passed away, leaving me feeling utterly alone.
Jason’s mental health continued to deteriorate, worsened by the toxic influence of his stepmother. Despite my efforts to support him, her manipulations were relentless.
On April 4, 2023, Jason disappeared without a trace. Almost two months later, his remains were found. His death was ruled a suicide.
Since then, I’ve struggled with overwhelming grief. My support system—my parents, my husband, and my mother-in-law—are all gone. I’ve been hospitalized multiple times due to the mental and physical toll. I even failed to make rank in the Navy, which added to my feelings of failure.
The people who should’ve been my family turned against me, spreading lies and hate. My stepmother-in-law even called me a homewrecker, despite being a part of the family for a much shorter time than me.
Now, I have no family left except for my two beautiful girls—my 18-year-old stepdaughter and my 9-year-old daughter.
What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
Despite my health issues and the crushing weight of isolation after Jason’s death, I knew I had to fight—not just for myself but for my daughters. I started focusing on my health, eating better, getting in shape, and seeking therapy. My girls deserve a strong, healthy mother, and I’m determined to be that for them.
Three Things I’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:
- Taking Charge of My Health: Prioritizing physical and mental well-being.
- Pursuing Hobbies: Finding joy and purpose in activities I love.
- Spending More Time with My Girls: Cherishing every moment with the two people who matter most to me.
My Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection:
I love the Phoenix Collection because I’m from Arizona, which makes it feel personal. More importantly, I relate to the phoenix rising from the ashes. Life has tried to burn me down, but I keep rising—again and again.
Comments
Jennifer B. M. said:
Your story is so sad but amazing at the same time. YOU ARE AMAZING! After going through every you went through, you made out alive. You definitely Rose from the Ashes. The Phoenix Collection is my favorite as well. I’m so sorry about your husband and everyone else but I’m happy to hear that you and your daughters are doing well. I wish you the best in your new risen life and everything that you do. Gloss Bless, Jennifer B
M. ❤️
Monie B said:
My condolences for all of your losses. I lost my own father to suicide after he murdered my stepmother, so I kind of know how you feel, even though it’s a different type of relationship. My dad had a huge influence on my life and not really in a good way but anyway, I don’t feel like my life has been the same since either. I harbored a lot of guilt over it even though I didn’t realize it for years as this happened when I was 22 and I’m now 54. I was curious about the bullies though and who these people are and are they following you? Is that what I was getting from this correct? Sounds like gang stalking if you believe in that. I’m not sure if I do but I’ve had some pretty weird experiences in my life so nothing would surprise me at this point. God I really don’t know what to say but I hope you hang in there and I know how rough things are because in my life everything I do it seems I have to do five times as much work to get done as the average Joe would have to do and it’s exhausting. Always 1 step forward and 10 steps back. Chin up okay? Big hugs
Tammy said:
Amazing rise from the ashes. Fight the good fight. Be true to yourself. Bullies are just people with low self-esteem and probably have a crappy home life. Not saying it’s an excuse, I too was bullied. But hold your head high sweet lady. You got this
Cheree Tennison said:
I would tell you about how strong you are like I’m sure many people have before, but I won’t repeat the obvious.
I, myself, have lost not one, but two boyfriends to suicide. I wasnt married to either of them, but ŵas in committed long term relationships with each. My heart aches for you and your daughters, for your loss and for the familiarity of your story. Sending prayers for all of you across the miles.
Michelle said:
Laura, you are truly a Phoenix rising from the ashes. An amazing woman and mother. Please know and continue to believe how incredibly strong you are. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sending you a big virtual hug.
Kathi Naumann said:
Laura, you are Amazing! I’m sure you’ll continue to persevere, and Rise like the Phoenix. God bless You and your Daughters.
Sherry Eckman said:
You are exactly what the brand encompass. I have been a BD Tribe Member from the beginning!
BD summed up everything i could not put the words together myself.
And if I could leave a word of encouragement, FAMILY comes from LOVE not DNA.
I presently have living DNA Members alive. But my tribe outside of BD are relationships that loved me at my lowest first and we have grown friends into sisters. We celebrated the good, cried through the bad, A particular friend has gotten me for a lot of my duplicate swag.
When I love it I want every item in that group.
Wake everyday being grateful for your journey. Life Happens and sometimes it hurts. You have a little girl who is looking to you to set the narrative and you got this mama bear.
Ashley Spradlin said:
You are not alone! Never! I too have had many many hardships that have done their best to destroy me. Like you I have refused to allow it. I pull myself back up, put myself back together even if pieces are missing and I fight on. I have four beautiful kids that need me and they need me at my best. Never feel alone! I may not be there with you but I am still fighting beside you! We have got this! Not a doubt in my mind!
Bridget said:
There are no words to say to comfort from the tragedies you have experienced. You should be proud you still rise from such overwhelming ashes! Thank you for serving our country and don’t worry about the rank… Be proud you are still rising and being part of the Navy in such times! Keep moving forward and looking forward and you will continue to rise! Thank you for sharing your story and your reasons for looking forward.
Crystal Johns said:
Laura, you are a true PHOENIX ❤️🔥❤️
Your story is heartbreaking but also incredibly inspiring! Thank you for sharing it. You have endured more than enough for 3 lifetimes, and yet you still keep RISING UP! We are definitely all BEAUTIFUL DISASTERS 💓🖤💓🖤💓
Vikki Tiffany said:
Laura, you are so articulate that it was not difficult to imagine myself in your shoes. Feel proud of yourself for your recent changes. God bless you and your healing journey.
Gwen Chastain said:
You are very blessed not only have you turned your life around. God is watching over. You be strong and know that a lot of us are have been where you’re going, sharing your story even only saying that one person listened. I think that’s a wonderful thing. It could save someone from a lot of problems that you had so thank you very much. God bless you all the way.
Michelle M. said:
I am so proud of you for rising from those ashes. I know it was a difficult story to tell and share; and I can completely empathize with you and your story. I am proud of you for sharing your story; PLZ always remember that you are a warrior; never give the haters an opportunity to bring you down and steal your light. Never give away your power to those who are jealous of that light, You DEFINITELY are a Phoenix and an awesome warrior. Your reasons for loving Beautiful Disaster are also mine. I love how Beautiful Disaster puts our exact thoughts onto amazing clothing that we all feel stronger wearing. 🖤Love and embrace you’re fighting side to continue rising from those flames like a warrior.. bcz you’re amazing!!
Michelle M. said:
I am so proud of you for rising from those ashes. I know it was a difficult story to tell and share; and I can completely empathize with you and your story. I am proud of you for sharing your story; PLZ always remember that you are a warrior; never give the haters an opportunity to bring you down and steal your light. Never give away your power to those who are jealous of that light, You DEFINITELY are a Phoenix and an awesome warrior. Your reasons for loving Beautiful Disaster are also mine. I love how Beautiful Disaster puts our exact thoughts onto amazing clothing that we all feel stronger wearing. 🖤Love and embrace you’re fighting side to continue rising from those flames like a warrior.. bcz you’re amazing!!
Deborah Booth said:
I am so proud of you. I am from Phoenix as well but live in Idaho now, but the Phoenix is me fav collection because I have risen from the ashes multiple times. Determination and Jesus makes everything possible
Tracy Morris said:
I am so sorry to hear how you learned of Ken. That’s horrible. The phoenix is the sign that resonates with me as well. My story also describes the return from the ashes, so I love your story of ascent. Be well, friend. We will continue to rise up.
Cynthia McDaniel said:
Your story is amazing & I can relate after being married to a narcissist for 35 yrs, had no idea til a friend told me I lived like a stepford wife & in my 50s found this to be so after looking up info, needless to say the last 10 yrs were very hurtful, degrading, abusive verbally, emotionally, & breaking promises I called it quits. Am now with a real man whom I love & has told me forget it it’s in the past & you will never live that way again. He also has been in several abusive relationships so we know how it feels. So together we work through this. So nice to be with someone who shows affection & love!!! Keep on rising my Phoenix you got this & I will too. Best of luck, Cindy
Emily Hamilton said:
You are a beautiful disaster! No matter what comes your way you remain strong for you and yours! Don’t ever stop fighting the good fight! That it was what makes us unstoppable! Thank you for your service! ❤️, prior military Coast Guard!!!
Lisa Minnix said:
Beautiful story. Beautiful Disaster I am also. I’ve bought from the collections for a few now. Consider myself part of the tribe. Forever Beautiful Disaster tribe. Lisa
Lisa Minnix said:
Beautiful story. Beautiful Disaster I am also. I’ve bought from the collections for a few now. Consider myself part of the tribe. Forever Beautiful Disaster tribe. Lisa
Pamela Anderson said:
Thank you my sister from another mister. By sharing our stories it does help others know they are not alone in this journey we call life.