Karen’s Story of Survival, Strength, and Starting Over

What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
My ability to be knocked down 100 times and get back up 101.

Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
Not sure about the beautiful part. But I've felt like my life has been a disaster after decades of chasing my dream of my own family. Just in the last several years, it's resembling something more beautiful. It's the perfect statement for what I've been through.

Tell Us Your Beautiful Disaster Story:
At the young age of 5, I started to be bullied. The same group of girls continued to bully me through 4th and 5th grade until they finally moved to high school, being three years ahead of me. All our parents worked at the U.S. Forest Service, so there was no getting away from them until then.

In high school, another person bullied me for a period of time. It was a hell I didn’t want to wake up to every day. I hated school because of it. While it stopped my senior year, three years after graduating I met a man who drew me in. He was funny and, at the time, respectful. After four years of living together, we got married.

For the next six years, my world turned back into hell. Between working three jobs and being abused mentally, emotionally, and unfortunately... physically — and being isolated from my family and friends — I considered, and even attempted, suicide several times. It seemed to be the only way out, especially after a particularly heartbreaking event of being thrown down stairs and having a miscarriage.

New Year’s Day 2006, after midnight, my intoxicated ex decided to drive home, and I was forced to go with him. Anyone who's been in an abusive relationship knows choices aren't something you ever get. That night, another drunk driver hit us. With a concussion and a broken ankle, I dragged myself a half mile home, knowing help wasn’t coming anytime soon.

After surgery and an altercation between my parents and my ex, they took me home with them to heal. This drove me to eventually go back to him — and if for no other reason, I went to get my stuff so I could move with my parents out of state.

After divorcing him, I met another man who was Army. I moved across the country with him, got married, and ended up in another bad situation. Being treated like I was invisible and ignored, I wasted another nine years trying for a family. In the midterm, I had five more miscarriages, which devastated me on so many levels. It was many prayers unanswered.

I ultimately left and moved back home to Alaska, where my family and friends were.

What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
Something clicked one day before I moved from North Carolina back to Alaska: I deserved to be treated with respect, kindness, and have the love I gave returned to me. Once back in Alaska, I went through a divorce... again, paid for by me, again.

Name 3 Things You’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:
Since I moved back in 2018, I pulled myself back up by my bootstraps, pulled up my big girl pants, and pushed myself to go forward again.

1. I found and bought my first home on my own and moved myself in.

2. I rejoined society — joining the bowling league, participating in our town’s celebration of the Gold Rush in Alaska (Golden Days), started going to hockey games, and started enjoying my world.

3. Planting flowers on my deck in the summers and watching the northern lights in the winter are just a couple of things I love about my life now — along with spending time with my family and friends.

Although new obstacles are watching over my elderly parents alone, while they deal with multiple health issues — up to and including watching my dad struggle with dementia — which, as a daddy’s girl, is destroying both of us. But I'm strong, and I will get through this next trial and come out stronger.

What Is Your Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection, Past or Present, and Why?
The Phoenix Collection was what initially attracted me to Beautiful Disaster. I feel like I have died and risen over and over like the phoenix. But also, as of late, the “You Don’t Need to Fix Me... Just Love Me While I Fix Myself” collection has become my next favorite line.

That’s really all I ask anymore — don’t fix me, just love me. I’ve got this. I’m fine. It will be fine. And in the end, it will turn out fine. Life really is what you allow and what you choose to make it.

I’ve become a true Beautiful Disaster, and I’m proud to explain what that means to anyone who asks about those words. It’s about choosing the beauty over the disaster every single day