CLOTHING FOR THE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT
Heather Evalani: Her Fight Against sexual misconduct, sexual harassment & sexual assault.
September 4 2020
September 4 2020
Many say that I should write a book, that it would rise to the top of the bestseller lists. That may be the case, but I am not sure people would believe it fact, and it’d be miscatagorized as “fiction”, I couldn’t make the things I have been through up if I wanted to!
I never wanted roots, my wings were as strong as my will to be different. My mother must’ve been psychic (not just psycho) when she gave me the Hawaiian name ‘Evalani’ which means, “heavenly bird”. When I found myself the mother of a 16 year old son, living with a man who was more than happy to see me cry instead of smile, I spread my dusty wings & left.
My son, who’s biological father would later be identified as my childhood best friend, the only man I ever truly loved. I always knew who was Dad, but I was young & dumb, rather than tell him, I married then divorced another asshole (but that’s a whole other story).
Leaving the man who raised my son was hard, he supported me & kept me so I couldn’t afford to leave. I eventually moved into a house with a roommate, after 3 years he decided to sell, so my ex let me come back to stay temporarily. If ever anyone thinks of platonically staying at an ex’s, let me save you the error.. DON'T, JUST DONT. I saved my pennies, purchased an old 34’ travel trailer & in my spare time I renovated it. I kept it in a friends backyard while I made my house. I put an ad out on Craigslist (another error), looking for a place to rent to live in my glamped out trailer.
An older, sort of weird man answered my ad, said he had a lot on his property with hookups. Perfect! I went to see it, decided he was weird but harmless, and moved my RV to his property farther than I wanted, but I was free!!
My weird but harmless landlord (btw, I couldn’t have been more wrong!) began to tell me he liked me. He started finding reasons he had to be on my area of the property, started asking me to do things (like cleaning, yard work & miscellaneous household chores) in return the rent would be reduced. Perfect! I also have a knack for being taken advantage of by mechanics, shocker, right? No. Anyway, I had had a shop on the property, so he helped me with my truck. Without delving deeper into my truck debacle (which is yet another chapter in that book), my landlord started showing signs of even more interest. Because I was intimidated by him, I began to communicate over texts that I wasn’t looking for anything romantic & I was living the way I was to find true inner peace. He didn’t care to hear my lack of desire, he acted as if it was a challenge I dared him to. Over & over I told him I only was capable of friendship, I even went so far as to say I was a lesbian!
Long story short, he ultimately sexually assaulted me, locked me in the underground water tank meant for my RV over Winter, and then evicted me via text when I again reiterated I had zero interest.
I went to the police, small town, small force, I was sent away with an appointment for 1 week later & advice to get my camper & leave his property! Wait, what? Yes, no report, no protection, just a card w/an address for my appointment.
1 week later I went in for my appointment, armed with my cell phone text messages & a story that rattled everyone.
The cop watched my interview, afterwards said they would charge him with sexual misconduct, sexual harassment & sexual assault, all misdemeanors, but I didn’t care. I thought of the women he did this to before me (there HAD to be some!!) who he no doubt intimidated into silence, those he would do it too in the future.. and myself. I was proud to have stood up for us!
I kept in touch with the cop, but as time went on it became clear he saw no importance of my case. I got texts from the landlord seeking what I want to make the police report go away, I sent them to the cop. Soon after, I was advised that he obtained an attorney.
This all transpired July - August 2017, it is now 1 year later. They never interviewed him, never charged him, and I now know they aren’t going to. The last correspondence from the cop was him telling me they were bumping it up to county level. Now, a woman called me & they were conducting a new investigation (awesome! Now they will get him!) as the “Me too” movement came to light, I hoped it would influence something to happen (it didn’t).
So, here I am, diagnosed with PTSD, unable to sleep due to nightmares, unable to be alone with male friends or strangers. Trying to heal. Trying to understand why a man caught urinating in public must register as a sex offender, but a man who actually sexually assaulted me is not even being officially interviewed! How a female prosecutor could review my evidence and find that, “his behavior was simply inappropriate & NOT punishable by law” is beyond my comprehension.
I wrote the prosecutor an email questioning all of this, I was professional about it, but told her I was myself going above them to the state. I now have been summoned to come in! The victim is now victimized by a system clearly not competent to handle a landlord/tenant sexual assault.
There are pieces of the story omitted for length, details I'll spare the reader (maybe they will 1 day read my book! Lol), but despite my PTSD, despite my abuse ladened past, I am standing tall a beautiful woman, I called myself a “BEAUTIFUL DISASTER “ long before your company existed! Now, you give me clothing to wear to claim my identity! I even tattooed your yin-yang skull on my left arm!
If I can weather any storm, if I can stand up after being knocked down, even as disasters strike... I remain a beautiful woman whose feathers have been ruffled & torn but my wings still carry me out of those clouds!
**Update from Heather** 11/13/18
They FINALLY arrested the SOB & although trial won’t be until January, my hopes that he will have to register as a sex offender are possible! He was charged w/2 counts sexual assault & 1 count simple assault.
I also obtained an attorney to help have the system modified, so when a victim goes to the police like I did, they aren’t tossed back to wolves without protection. The police literally sent me home without even taking a report! Absolutely unacceptable. Hopefully I can change the way small towns handle sex offenders & their victims.