My name is Ashley and I grew up in a small town where my skin color was not accepted. I was bullied a lot and developed chronic depression. I was tossed around from “lockup” (county thinking it was a treatment center), back home, treatment center, to a different town, and then graduating from a school that didn’t want me. It was hard fitting in everywhere. My depression was getting better - I had my ups and downs. I eventually stopped all medication and found my own happiness. It was the best part of my life. 

I thought my life was going great until I started losing the most important people in my life. It led me into a mentally and physically abusive relationship that wasn’t good. Eventually, we broke up and that was even worse. I was diagnosed later with anxiety and panic attacks. This was difficult considering I was attending college and trying to get my degree. Especially with the Pandemic going on, that didn’t help either.

I made it through, but I am damaged. I graduated with my business degree and certificate for business assistant. My anxiety is at ease right now and I am showing no signs of panic attacks. I moved out of my apartment and onto a family farm where it is peaceful, quiet, and drama free. I get to be by animals all day, watch the babies grow, and smell fresh air every morning. Nothing can get me down anymore!!! I feel at peace where I am. For that, I can thank Beautiful Disaster. 

My tip for anybody going through similar situations is to NEVER GIVE UP!!! If you think you feel like failing, remember you have the potential of doing something amazing. Push through and breathe. Write in a journal while listening to music and write down how your feelings are for that day. Write down why you feel anxious or sad or what events are happening. I have wrote in a journal since my episodes and it helped me. I also had someone to lean on and listen to me. He helped me realize my worth and make some peaceful changes on my time.
I found this awesome brand, Beautiful Disaster, on Facebook. I found an ad and went to the website where I read the mission message. I saw the awesome apparel and decided to order. My favorite collection so far would have to be Wolf. It is my favorite animal and my spirit animal. The message behind all of these collections  are strong and heartfelt. 
I wish I could open a store in my area to carry these clothes and provide this awesome message in my town, I know a few who can benefit from these messages. 
Beautiful Disaster makes me feel comfortable again and helps me advocate for myself. I can feel accepted by others when I wear the tanks and show off my purse and wallet set. I get a lot of compliments and get asked where I get the clothes. It makes me confident in who I am as a person again. The old me, being happy and be myself. 

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November 19, 2021