Ashley's Story: Feeling Comfortable In My Own Skin

Ashley's Story: Feeling Comfortable In My Own Skin

My name is Ashley and I grew up in a small town where my skin color was not accepted. I was bullied a lot and developed chronic depression. I was tossed around from “lockup” (county thinking it was a treatment center), back home, treatment center, to a different town, and then graduating from a school that didn’t want me. It was hard fitting in everywhere. My depression was getting better - I had my ups and downs. I eventually stopped all medication and found my own happiness. It was the best part of my life. 

I thought my life was going great until I started losing the most important people in my life. It led me into a mentally and physically abusive relationship that wasn’t good. Eventually, we broke up and that was even worse. I was diagnosed later with anxiety and panic attacks. This was difficult considering I was attending college and trying to get my degree. Especially with the Pandemic going on, that didn’t help either.

I made it through, but I am damaged. I graduated with my business degree and certificate for business assistant. My anxiety is at ease right now and I am showing no signs of panic attacks. I moved out of my apartment and onto a family farm where it is peaceful, quiet, and drama free. I get to be by animals all day, watch the babies grow, and smell fresh air every morning. Nothing can get me down anymore!!! I feel at peace where I am. For that, I can thank Beautiful Disaster. 

My tip for anybody going through similar situations is to NEVER GIVE UP!!! If you think you feel like failing, remember you have the potential of doing something amazing. Push through and breathe. Write in a journal while listening to music and write down how your feelings are for that day. Write down why you feel anxious or sad or what events are happening. I have wrote in a journal since my episodes and it helped me. I also had someone to lean on and listen to me. He helped me realize my worth and make some peaceful changes on my time.
I found this awesome brand, Beautiful Disaster, on Facebook. I found an ad and went to the website where I read the mission message. I saw the awesome apparel and decided to order. My favorite collection so far would have to be Wolf. It is my favorite animal and my spirit animal. The message behind all of these collections  are strong and heartfelt. 
I wish I could open a store in my area to carry these clothes and provide this awesome message in my town, I know a few who can benefit from these messages. 
Beautiful Disaster makes me feel comfortable again and helps me advocate for myself. I can feel accepted by others when I wear the tanks and show off my purse and wallet set. I get a lot of compliments and get asked where I get the clothes. It makes me confident in who I am as a person again. The old me, being happy and be myself. 

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Comments

Becky L Knapp 13 days ago

Thank you for sharing I can relate to you. I hope to one day shsre my story
Thank you
Becky

Georgia Schultz 14 days ago

Ashley your story is an awesome inspiration to others who are or have been where you are or have been. Please continue to share your story with other’s in site’s such as anxiety and depression groups online and anyone you personally talk to and they show signs of anxiety and depression. I’ve been through the anxiety attacks and occasionally still have depressive moments. Like you I’ve stopped taking all medications for anxiety and depression quite a few years ago. For me they made me feel worse rather than better. Doctors were having me try one medication and I would be awake for days at a time then another doctor prescribed me another prescription and I literally slept for days at a time. I stopped taking any anxiety and depression medication and learned how to deal with or manage my anxiety attacks or my depressive moments on my own. Right now in my personal life I am waiting on one legal situation to come to an end and then I’m going to tell my whole life’s story to our Beautiful Disaster family. In the meantime Ashley you just keep being you. Don’t pay any attention to anyone who is giving you bad vibes or outright just plain trying to get to you and make you feel like you are lesser of a person. Anyone who is trying to make someone else feel they’re not worthy in life they are the one who has issues within themselves. I avoid those type people whenever I can. Take care and the best of luck to you always.

Allison Bravo 14 days ago

To Ashley,
Thank you very much for sharing, your story is simply beautiful and you are very beautiful inside and out. You do not know me but I have struggled since a child and just know I am very proud of you even if you haven’t heard from who u want to hear it from, you rock. Keep moving forward and climb that mountain!