April's Story: We Do Recover
My name is April and I'm from Louisville Kentucky. I am absolutely grateful for the scars and the darkest moments in my life because they have made me who I am today. Addiction took over my life for about 10 years until it landed me in prison.
Looking back I guess you can say I was in trouble from the start and didn’t even know it. Growing up around drugs and the lifestyle that come with it was almost normal. My papa was a well known drug dealer in the area we lived in and I was the dope dealers daughter. Funny thing is I was okay with that. I hid behind my pride and ego for so many year when in reality I was scared and lost.
I always thought I had to be tough and uphold my family’s name. I became a mother at 14, and by 15 I had dropped out of school to become a wife. I had to grow up fast. I always thought I was doing the right thing because, like I said before, drugs and selling them was something that was normal to me and you couldn’t have told me at the time I was doing wrong.
Fast forward a few years, I was 28, 2 times divorced and the mother of 5. I had always been a good mother, worked hard and give my kids a good life. I never wanted them to have to see or live the life I had, but things didn’t go as plan. I started using prescription pain killers and that sent me off and running to what would be some of the darkest days of my life.
After multiple stays in and out of jail for minor things and my kids being taken away, I was finally arrested for drug trafficking. I can vividly remember when I saw my picture in the local newspaper. It was honestly a relief that I didn’t have to run anymore - it was over and I was ready to surrender.
After spending some time locked up, I was finally paroled to a treatment facility. If I told you that at the time I was ready to get sober, I would be lying because the truth is I just didn’t want to be locked up anymore.
After being released, I knew that wasn’t going to be the life that I wanted to live anymore. I landed in a homeless shelter and I knew I had to get to work to get my life back, but things weren’t easy and I had to crawl my way out of the hole. I went from a small town to the big city of Louisville and was scared to death. That decision changed my life.
After getting there, I realize not everybody was out to get me. I had been living in fear and had many issues from abandonment to not knowing myself worth. I didn’t even understand God before I got there, the only God I knew was a curse word. After finding my own concept of God, it was like a light had come on. If there’s any advice that I could give it would be don’t leave before the miracle happens. I challenge you to ask yourself what your wise is. I found my why and it was to help other formally incarcerated individuals get their life back and know their worth.
Life does get better! Today, I am seven years sober and the Director of The Reentry Program at the same recovery/homeless I was sent to. The Reentry Program houses 150 parolees and saves lives. I found Beautiful Disaster one day scrolling Facebook and it embodied everything I stand for. I have absolutely fell in love with your line of clothes. Finally something for us girl’s that have stood up and took our power back. The Loyalty Collection is my favorite and it’s funny because I used to have so much pride about loyalty and didn’t even realize that I was looking at it all wrong. I was loyal to all the wrong things and people. Today, I am loyal to myself and the good fight. Keep on keeping on my Beautiful disasters.
Today, I give back to the world and not take from it. I have a purpose in life to help others take their power back and not be ashamed of their past. We can recover and still be bad ass Beautiful Disasters.