ANONYMOUS: Addiction, Assault, and the Strength to Rise
What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
I’ve survived things I should not have. I’m here for a reason. My life has been a beautiful disaster.
Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
When I was in my addiction, I saw your logo with the skull and the words forming it:
"Beautiful Disaster; Love Hate; Live Fast; Die Pretty; Sinner Saint."
And I loved that motto. It made me feel seen.
Tell Us Your Beautiful Disaster Story:
I was sexually abused by a parent’s roommate, and that started it off. It seemed like SA followed me until I grew older and turned it into sleeping with men consensually. I have the starter package of a girl with daddy issues—I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.
I let it define who I am for 27 years. One day, I was raped in a hotel room and was so close to getting sold to sex trafficking. But God was watching over me, and I got out. He sent someone to save me, and I’ll never be able to thank the guy who did enough.
I was heavily in my addiction when this happened and had been on and off for 8 years.
What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
I was pretending to stay sober for my parents (couldn’t fool my stepdad—he knew), and the guilt just ate me up inside. I wanted to tell them so bad, but of course, I wanted to continue to keep using.
One night, I went to see a friend and, long story short, I drank and used myself into a PTSD episode. I thought my rapists were after me, so I ran half-dressed to my car with a BAC of .15, completely totaled my car, and was found out by my mom.
I went to rehab in the next couple of weeks—and I have been sober since 08/18/2020.
Name 3 Things You’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:
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Worked the 12 steps and went to AA (for me, it works).
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Prayed and kept myself around good people.
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I’ve become more at peace by learning what I can control and can’t! (Currently suffering with this, but for the most part it works, lol.)
What Is Your Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection, Past or Present, and Why?
Anything with the Beautiful Disaster / Love Hate / Live Fast / Die Pretty / Sinner Saint skull.