I’m 41 and I’ve spent my whole life listening to people tell me what I should do -constantly pleasing and doing things for others, even with spouses that have cheated and/or just not in love with me. At 40, I've decided I’ve had enough and I deserve better.

I had a dad growing up in the 80s and 90s that was protective, a grandma that was and still is so judgmental, and a mom who was always supportive, but wasn’t around. I had kids at a young age and they are amazing teens to this day, but my 20s and 30s were spent doing everything for everyone else with no help. My first husband cheated on me with my best friend and my second husband faked his love for me because he was scared of change. I decided at 40 I had enough.

I lost my job in the medical field due to Covid, so I bought a new home in a different county and bought myself a play truck to fix up and love. Shortly after, I became friends with this guy, quickly became best friends and within 4 months we had a bond that scared us both. The connection we had was on another level and I knew right then and there I wanted this man in my life. We had this instant friendship we were able to build from and have conversations no matter what. I enjoyed every minute and missed him before he had to leave. 
This was my turning point. He had his own struggles and was man enough to admit them, and I wanted to open up and finally experience what it felt like to where my heart on my sleeve. As he struggled with his own issues, he lost family and close friends, but I told him I had his back no matter what. He could always have me to lean on and I felt the same with him. He told me we are equals - he wants to put me up on a pedestal and we will help each other grow together through anything.
Life now is amazing and Beautiful Disaster Clothing and their hats are like tattoos for me. I can express my feelings through them and be proud that I’m a Beautiful Disaster who doesn't give a f*ck about what anyone else thinks anymore. Beautiful Disaster tells my story through fashion that I like. I just happened across the brand one day on Facebook and I noticed their skull on one of the tank tops. I love wearing the brand because it makes me feel good and I can share it as well! 
My favorite Beautiful Disaster product is my Camo Hat, of course, and I get a lot of compliments of the sticker on my truck. I hope it inspires other women. It’s what you believe in your heart that matters. Continue to do what you can for other people and do not care what other people think of you. No matter whether you care what people think or not, there will always be judgement, so love yourself and love life! Enjoy day by day and don't take life for granted. 

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December 10, 2021