My story starts when my son’s father controlled everything I did, even what I wore. I was only 18 years old at the time. He was in a very bad club. He did things you wouldn’t think people would do. Half the stuff I didn’t know about until he wanted my brother as an apprentice. My brother told me what they made him do. They made my brother set up an area to hurt someone. My brother didn’t know what is was doing - he was 16 years old at the time and is dyslexic and has ADHD.
Today, my good friend Steve-O, who was the one hurt, is very healthy, but still has to see doctors because what they did to him. A lot of the men went to jail, thank God. But, like I said, my son’s father tried hiding everything about what I found out. 
One day, when my son’s father was gone with his attorney, I was up in our apartment above the tattoo shop. A lot of the main club brothers showed up and the President told the cops everything, so my son's father would go to jail. They assaulted me in front of my baby boy and beat me really bad, like they had done to Steve-o - that’s what broke me.
My son’s father went to jail for 10 years and so did the other men, except for one man that got away. I started using pain pills to stop my pain. I woke up one day and realized my kids and life meant more to me than anything. I took myself to rehab, got clean and stayed clean to this day.
I always vowed to myself that no man or drug would never mess with our lives again. I met my ex fiancé and he raised my kids with me. He hated drugs as well, so I thought he was my soulmate. We were together for 10 years, but had a miscarriage 3 years ago that broke both of our hearts.
Two days before our sons birthday, our landlord told us he was selling the house we rented for 8 years. He told us that even though we had paid rent, he needed to sell the property because of everything that’s been going on. We found another house, but his wife stopped us from buying that house because we didn’t want them as our realtor. This made it very hard on my ex, and as all this was going on, I was pregnant. I didn’t know anything was wrong with my ex until his friend walked in one day, and didn’t know I was home from work. That day I found out he was addicted to painkillers and had no feelings whatsoever.
I would work 12 hours a day and would go to so many houses a day with my realtor on my days off. We both made a decision not to have our children in a hotel while we were waiting for a house. So, my daughter stayed with her best friend Emma and my son stayed with my cousins, Sunshine and Alexis. I made sure I got a nice room and pool close to both kids, so they could swim and have fun even with our situation. I would do everything to find the house he wanted, no matter what. 
One day, our realtor made my son's father really mad and he took it out on me saying all I do is work and fall asleep doing paperwork. So, the next day, he came back to the room and told me he was taking his tools to the storage unit close to the Comfort Inn and then going by his friends house to order food, but he would be back. When he got back, it was four in the morning and he started a fight with me over nothing. He took his stuff, and my kid’s Christmas stuff, including ornaments that they have made for me over the years and my Aunt Dawn's ornament with her ashes in it, and still has to this day.
Well, that didn’t stop me. I stayed strong and found a new realtor. I told him exactly what I was looking for, went, looked at the house, filled out all the paperwork and got approved the next day. That made my kids and I happy, but my kids also knew I was heartbroken because I never thought my ex would do this. I never thought he would take $7000 out my safe to move into a rented house - that money was my daughters graduation money and I was going to buy a new car, and give her my new charger.
Leaving work, a friend of mine called me all broken down and needed to be picked up. I always help others no matter what I am dealing with, so I was there for her. When I was at a red light waiting to get on the freeway, two young men in their 20s were flying down the road to 155, running down the stop sign and ran right over top of my charger. I got knocked out for a second and called my brother because he lives right there. Everyone told me I could’ve died, but I am here standing strong and still standing strong with my baby inside me.
The only thing that hurt me was how I couldn’t give my daughter her car as it got damaged. I do have a big lawsuit, but that’s gonna take time.
My daughter was waiting outside the hospital scared. She stayed out there for 3 days for hours on and off making sure her mother was okay. I broke my pelvic bone from the seatbelt, damaged both of my knees, broke my ankle and my chest was bruised really bad.
The day I got released, I cried to her and told her I was sorry and she told me, "no Mom, all I want is you". My kids make me stronger every single day and that’s why I am a Beautiful Disaster. Bad things might happen in life, but God always has a reason and everything always turns out okay.
It’s my kids and me always. Thank you for letting me tell my story. We are happy in our new house and I had my daughters graduation party here. 

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January 14, 2022