My name is Abigail, I’m 28 and I am married to the most incredible man and have 3 kids.. I am living the fairytale life , but it hasn’t always been that way.  I grew up in different family members homes due to a drug addicted mom. She didn’t feel it was her time to grow up I guess. She was married a few times each one something not being quite so right.  My donor as I call him gave me up for adoption because he wanted nothing to do with me and didn’t care to pay child support for a child he wanted aborted from the get go. My adoptive dad was the only good choice she made as far as men go. Only down fall to him was he had a teenage son who decided my sister and I were fair game (we were 8 and 11). Afraid to tell anyone my sister and I let the abuse go on for almost a year before sharing our dark secret with our mother. He was put into foster care and apparently if you have a foster dad who is in the military he can get your record erased so it’s like nothing ever needless to say he got away with all of his indiscretions.  There’s was one man who got her addicted to drugs and would beat on her regularly. Later making her believe she was better off without her kids and family. I remember I went to school one day and came home to an empty house and a mom who was no where to be found. Thank god i have a grandmother who took me in and raised me like I was her own. Found out my mom had moved to Vegas.  She was out of the picture for about a year, during this time my grandma did her best to keep me out of trouble ( I was rebellious just like most teens). Immediately after my mom came back into the picture I went to live with her again and soon after got pregnant with my son Morgin who is now 12. I married his father at the age of 15 he was 20. I thought it was going to be fun at first , being married having a baby. I could have never been more wrong. He was controlling, emotionally abusive, very jealous and he had a horrible temper. I stayed with him and we had 2 more children. He would accuse me of cheating on him, I wasn’t aloud to get a drivers license until I was 23. He would check the mileage on our car he would make me keep my phone on me at all times so he could keep tabs on me. He would check incoming and outgoing texts and phone calls. I was told no one would want a woman who had 3 kids, I was damaged goods and had too much baggage. During the course of the relationship he became physically abusive at times, a couple of those times were when I was pregnant with my daughters whose names are Kaydence and serenity they are 11 and 8. Their father would yell in their faces and talk to them like they were dirt. My son ended up with a bloody nose a couple times. I would step in the middle of it and things only became worse. He was a drunk and enjoyed everything else more then his family and I had enough. I grew up the courage to leave him. I packed up my clothes and my children and found a job working a a local hotel (that’s where I met the man of my dreams who I am happily married to today). I made a promise to myself and to my children to never let anyone harm them or for them to grow up the way I did. I may not be the perfect mom all the time but I damn sure do my best. My husband has shown me that life is supposed to be about love and laughter. He has shown my children what it’s like to have a loving father. He treats my kids like their his own. So I guess what I’m trying to saying is I’m a beautiful disaster because I have ridden out the storm for many years waiting for the calm. I never believed in fairytales but I learned that waiting patiently and loving myself has shaped me into the person I am today. I am a firm believer in the beautiful disaster meaning so much so I have it tattooed on me so that every time I feel low I can look down and see that I’m not broken I’m beautifully broken. I’m not just a disaster waiting to happen I’m a beautiful disaster. 

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November 12, 2018