When Everything Burned: Erin’s Story of Loss, Survival, and Starting Over
What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
Despite my brokenness and struggles, I still manage to approach each day with a smile on my face.
Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
I connect with the brand because the name describes me. I’m beautiful, but that beauty masks massive amounts of hurt and pain.
Tell Us Your Beautiful Disaster Story
My story is a lifetime long, but I’ll narrow it down.
I had a hysterectomy in June 2019 at the age of 34. This ended a very long infertility journey. My husband and I decided that we would give our love for children to our dogs. Our oldest dog died that December. I came home from the vet in tears, hugged my remaining dogs tightly, and begged them to give me more years before I had to feel that kind of pain again.
After my hysterectomy, I began training for a half marathon. I didn’t just want to complete the race—I wanted to compete. I trained incredibly hard. I told people this race was my “fight song.” I was going to prove that nothing could bring me down.
The race was scheduled for February 22, 2020.
After work on February 7, 2020, I went out for my afternoon run. I was only a quarter mile from my house when I felt a sharp pain and fell to the ground. When I turned my head, I saw that a Pit Bull had me by the leg. The attack ripped my calf muscle off the bone and ruptured my Achilles tendon.
Three weeks shy of running my fight song.
Then, just days later, on February 12, 2020, a friend dropped me off at home from work. I waved her off once I made it into the garage on my crutches. But when I opened the door to my house, a wave of heat hit my face.
The sound of the smoke detectors still plays in my head six years later.
We lost everything that day.
But the worst loss of all was our dogs.
A month later, during my spring break, we moved into a rental house. I’m a teacher, and while we were settling in, the news announced schools would be shutting down because of COVID-19.
About a week later, my husband had to begin working from home, but before that happened, I spent long days alone. One day, while trying to get to the bathroom, I dropped my crutch. I couldn’t crawl far enough to reach it. I pulled myself into a corner and cried.
I was alone without a dog for the first time in 16 years.
In a house that wasn’t mine.
On furniture that wasn’t mine.
Wearing clothes that weren’t mine.
I felt completely lost.
What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
The realization that I couldn’t do it on my own.
Name 3 Things You’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness
- Started seeing a counselor
- Went to seminary
- Started hitting the gym
What Is Your Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection, Past or Present, and Why?
I love that the brand is empowering.