*GRAPHIC* Myra's Story: How We Make Our Disasters Beautiful

*GRAPHIC* Myra's Story: How We Make Our Disasters Beautiful
On October 31, 2015, I got a call from my mom saying that my son had gotten into an argument with my dad and that my dad was gone. The minute I write this the screams and shock come flooding back to me. I could not understand in that two minute phone call just exactly how turned upside down life would become.
My husband and I had met on a deployment to Afghanistan, we had both been in seriously abusive marriages for years, and I truly believe that I met him because God knew what he had planned to put in my path and knew I needed my husband for that long hard journey. My son had gotten into trouble as a teenager and when I deployed he moved in with my parents. My mom and dad were being pulled in directions with having my son in their home and my disabled Uncle also living there. They were starting to have marital troubles. My son and Daddy basically were getting into disagreements, but nothing too serious. On my eldest brother's birthday - my parents took him to a Casino in Louisiana. My Daddy had a medical procedure a week prior and was on serious medications, he was mixing the medication with alcohol while at the casino. When he came home, he got into an argument with my son & my mom. My Daddy had went into his room to load a gun to shoot my son. My mom followed him into the room and they were physically fighting over the gun. Instead of leaving my mom - my son remained. My mom fought with my dad for over 30 minutes of hell behind those doors. She opened the door because she thought my son was arguing with his friend that was outside the door. When the door opened, my mom and Daddy came through very fast. The friend yelled “he has a gun” and my son ended my Daddy’s life with a knife to his artery. My Dad died instantly. My mom & my son were in shock. They called the police and they arrested my son for Murder.
My husband drove with me in the floor board of his truck, unable to even do anything but cry and scream. It was a five hour trip that I cannot even remember. It seemed like it took us 10 minutes to get there. We got home and picked up my Mom from my brothers house. We went home and my Mom was in shock too - so she said we needed to clean up the house for my last act for my Daddy. We went in and the next thing I knew I was covered from head to toe in my Daddy’s blood. We were trying to clean up the mess because my Daddy had bled out. I think this is what caused my PTSD, because hind site- it was horrifying that we did this.
The next day, I called my doctor and explained what happened and asked for something to help me get through this situation. That’s when my real issues started. Two months later my Uncle that lived with parents, passed away too.  Fast forward 6 months later, my son was waiting in County for his trial, my Mom and I were not speaking, I had three different doctors that had me on over 15 different medications. I was completely non-functional. I could not work, think or function at all. My sons trial was finally 1 year later, by that time I was on even more types of medications. I had gained over 60 pounds and as a complexity different person from when any of this happened. I had visual flashes of morbid things happening all the time. I was sleeping all day and up all night. As soon as the Judge sentenced my son the life in prison, I checked myself into the hospital because I knew I was not going to be able to handle what was next and I was afraid of myself at that point. I was there for one week while they adjusted my medications and changed things around. I walked out of there and the next night, I took a shower and when I got out- I walked into the hallway in my house and passed completely out. I hit my head on a dresser and then at the ER, they told me that I was in stage 4 renal failure.
All of the medications had caused my kidneys to shut down. I also found out I was pregnant. I lost the baby two weeks later. When I found out I was pregnant I stopped all of the medication- it was horrible. I could not function for almost two weeks. My brain was in a fog. I can barely remember the events. I was done with all of the medications and this was the start of my next chapter. I was learning to maneuver through being the best Mom that I could be with my son having to deal with being in prison. I began to do prison ministry with a group and was learning how to handle the new life I was given. I started focusing on my well being and leaning techniques to get passed my triggers. I worked on my health and within 1 year, I lost over 110 pounds and started helping others to become healthy. I lead a Keto group on social media that is to help others get healthy too. My marriage is strong as ever, my relationship with my Mom and family flourishes. My son is healthy and strong. My daughters are well and I am stronger than I have ever been in my life.
I found the Beautiful Disaster line in my social media feed. I realized it was ME! I am a Beautiful Disaster. My goal is to help show others with Post Trauma that they can make it and survive. They can overcome the triggers without medications permanently. I have my Beautiful Disaster stickers on my Jeep, that show- You Don’t Know My Story. I wear my outfits and when someone stops me to tell me they love my clothes and where did I get them- I share that I am a survivor of PTSD and that where they can buy them too! I love the clothing line and all that is stands for. I am truly a Beautiful Disaster and proud to say I have survived my trauma and will make it through the next! We all have disasters - it’s how we make them beautiful that matters.
Thanks for letting me share.

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Comments

Robyn Zavala November 23 2021

Thank you to all of the women and there powerful, moving stories! Unbelievable strength and courage and I can relate to a lot of your stories, thank you so much! Robyn.

Kym Thompson August 8 2021

You are an amazing person…..

Tammie Hensley June 13 2021

Every story I read brings me to tears. You ladies are so amazing. God bless our Beautiful Disaster tribe ❤

Lisa Larsen June 13 2021

Wow! Reading story’s on here makes me feel mine are just the smallest of issues. I hope one day I can become as strong as a lot of the women here (and men) I have PTSD from physical and mental abuse of many years among a lot of other trauma which I am now seeking help for.

Stephanie Risicato June 13 2021

Wow y’all are so amazing and an inspiration

Brandy June 13 2021

Wow! I’m in envy of your courage and strength. You truly are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing.

Tammy Varner June 13 2021

Thank you for your story. I do not have PTSD but am a survivor of abuse from my first marriage and also I have 8years of clean time from drugs and alcohol. I was a mess prior to my first marriage and it got worse after I met him and married and moved away to Co. where my first husband was going to be stationed at. We found out we were 5weeks pregnant a week after getting there. I was in misery the whole time. I did meet friends in our FRG and had a very very close relationship with one and we remain the best of friends even to this day. We lived in Ks after a few more years . We lived in Co. for 3.5 and he was deployed once to Iraq and a 2nd PCS to Korea. I went home to live with my parents for both of those. I never said how bad my marriage was, but I think they knew. I gotten help while there with my addictions, then went back to him again and again. I was scared of him plus I did not want him harming our daughter. He cheated on my several times with different women in our martial bed and was extremely abusive in all ways. Sexual, physically, emotionally, and mentally. When we were living in post in Ks. Fort Riley. I was in the hospital a few times for stomach issues. Do to stress and my addictions. I found out when home from my then 4yr old baby girl that her daddy had hit her and threw her on the couch for crying for her mommy. She woke up the next morning to find another women in her mommy & daddys bed. I confronted him when he got home that day, I told him I wanted out and a divorce, I could take him hurting me but not my baby. He then beat the hell out of me for the very last time. We were outside and a neighbor flew over his fence and threw him off of me. I Thankfully had family that lived in Junction City. I was able to get in touch with my parents and they unturned called them and by the weekend my daddy was there to get my daughter, our belongings, our cat & dog and leave for Pa. I got to Pa and it took about a month for me to come to my senses and seek help. My family has always been a very huge loving & supportive family and has never once not been there for me. I got help and have been doing extremely well with my disease ever since. I put family and friends in danger unfortunately with my addiction. About 2yrs later I met my now 2nd ex husband. He was great at first and was never ever abusive physically etc, but emotionally I ended up getting very very sick. He was there for and with my daughter and I and my parents through all the court hearings that my first ex and his gf put us through. He tried making me look like a dead beat mother etc. I ended up with full soul custody of my beautiful baby. She was scared to death of her biological father. 2yrs later, he was picked up for contempt of court and not paying child support and put in jail. He decided at that time that he wanted to give up his rights. By that time, my 2nd husband and I were married and he adopted my daughter. I ended up finding out the he was cheating on me since the beginning, but cyber cheating and sending back and forth pictures of their selves. My daughter and I that will be 13 this coming Wednesday are happy and doing well. We unfortunately lost my daddy this past March, this was truly hard on all of us in our family. I now attend 12step meetings and have made one my home group. My daughter is in counseling do to this and both fathers being horrible ppl and loosing a man that was her only true father figure. We both help my momma, she and my daddy live across the st. So with my daddy no longer being by her side. We tend to pick up a lot of the slack. It gets overwhelming a lot, but I’d do it again and again. I love Beautiful Disaster and feel like I am beautifully broken as well. But we strong ass women keep on keeping.