I was a single mother of two boys going to school and bartending part time to pay the bills, I met my husband where I worked ”a older man” I was only 27 struggling and he was my knight and shinning armor.
We started talking, got together and engaged not long into the relationship, I was in love - married 2 years later -he knew my past and made everything all better( at least that’s what I thought) as time goes I notice I’m no longer spending time with my family, I have no friends- but I drive a nice car, I have nice clothes etc.. my family could see what was going on but they didn’t see what I seen and he loved me and took care of me - as months turned into years I stayed home 24/7 unless with him, my kids are grown -he’s trying to push them to move out ( he’s not biological dad) were fighting because I’m being a mother, or because I wanted to see my mom, which he reminded me every time on how he was here when she wasn’t, he was there when no one else was ( blinders) my husband was an on the road truck driver so he was gone a lot, but then after 11 years chose to be local and it started getting worse, the emotional and mental strain it was putting on me. I was shutting down, I wasn’t being the Mom I have always been, I didn’t get out of bed until later in the day ( which wasn’t me ) I had grown lines in my face and never slept, finally June of 2017 when he started yelling at me for wanting to help
one of my children, I had, had enough - he moved out and I cried-I needed him, I depended on him, I still let him control everything- if I struggled to pay a bill or needed something “he jumped to get it” but there was always something behind it, he was still controlling me- I left my nice home, big yard and gave all my animals away ( he moved to an apartment ) that was August of 2017 - everything was great first month or so- until my mom wasn’t seeing me again and I was sleeping late again, December 2017 I left- I have my own place, I pay my bills. My 18 year old son still lives at home which I love but he does work- my husband was still trying to use everything he could until a month ago- I blocked his number and no longer allow him to control any aspect of my life- I smile again, I get up by 7 am, I work out at the gym which makes me feel great “ I am now and will always be a beautiful disaster “ but on my own from now on . I am strong and independent !!! 

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August 03, 2018