I don't tell my story as often as I should. I grew up with a lot of shame and with the understanding that perception was more important than reality. I can't remember when it started because it was always there. My Step Grandfather had been sexually assaulting and raping me from before I even knew it was wrong. I was about 12 when I finely realized it was wrong and gather the strength to "tell someone" that someone was my mother and grandmother. I can remember crying and the only thing they said was "your eyes are even pretty when you cry". I thought finally it would all come to an end and I would be safe. That was not the case, it continued to happen. I went to my mother again and told (because that's what you're supposed to do), only to find out he had been paying her to keep her it all quiet while continuing to all it to happen. 

I needed a way out and found a boyfriend at age 15, a few months later I was pregnant and the man that had taken my childhood away was dying of cancer! Finally, I would be truly free and the day he passed I was. I did have a new obstacle, I was 15 and pregnant. Remember, perception was more important than reality. With that said, my family thought I should hide it and abort the baby. I couldn't do that, it was my baby and I finally had control over something. I decided to keep the baby. Six months after my first daughter was born I became pregnant with my second daughter. Now I am 16, with a new baby and one on the way!

This is where I got my strength! This is where I became a beautiful disaster and new I was imperfectly perfect. Three days after my second daughter was born I again gathered the strength to tell their biological father that he needed to grow up and be a father, he choice to walk away and my girls have never seen him since nor do they remember him. 

When my second daughter was four months old on October 26th 1996, I began seeing a man I knew since I was 15. He never left my side since that day! We were married July 11, 1997 and had a son in January of 1998. He took my girls as his own from day one and adopted them both in the fall of 1999. We have been married for 21 years now!

We both come from very hard family lives and decided to break the cycle! We raised child that are never afraid to tell us anything, never ashamed of being themselves! We pride ourselves on the bond we all have and work hard to keep it! We don't care what anyone's perception of our family is because our reality is perfect and perfectly imperfect to us! 

I am very strong and refuse to be a victim of my past. I refuse for my family to be victims of my past! We all have something that has happen to us but don't let it pull you down into the darkness with it....let your light be know and shine brighter!!! Love yourself just the way you are because we are all perfect and beautiful in our own ways!

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June 26, 2019