Happy Tuesday Beautiful Disaster tribe! Today we are featuring a story that was sent in by Jamie. I love her honesty, not everyone can send in a story telling about  their current struggles, Let’s wrap our arms around Jamie and give her words of encouragement to stay positive and to remove the toxic waste from her life.

Everyone, Meet Jamie.  

Hello. My name is Jamie . I grew up the eldest grandchild out of 12 kids .my mother had 3 sisters, each sister had 4 kids. My life growing up was pretty dysfunctional my mother and all 3 of her sister’s were in abusive and drug use relationships.Being the eldest I had to protect and witness a lot of the abuse towards them .

Now way later in my life I find myself down the same path in life . I started using — I found myself and my boyfriend being abusive to each other verbally , physically and mentally. Then got pregnant I did get clean when I was pregnant my boyfriend didn’t.

So after the baby I stayed clean for about 3 months. I felt like me and my boyfriend had nothing in common felt like disconnected from each other. So we are back picking up where our crazy relationship started . I went to jail several times and he did has well . I am thankful CPS never got involved. Eventually my boyfriend went to prison and then I found myself.

I got clean I got a good job . I was making it . He got out of prison we were both completely different people . I never knew this nice guy . It scared me and I kept pushing him away . We have been together for 14 years. Most the years have been abusive . So this nice guy scared me and I had a wall up I felt like I was always waiting for him to hurt me. Well he bought our family (me, him & our son) a home. We got engaged then though wonderful fb I found out he was talking to another girl. I kept trying to make it work with him . Crying, begging, screaming and fighting to make it work with him. On our sons birthday I moved out of our home . Next thing I know she moves in last November. But from the time I left till present I still chased him we both continued to keep sleeping together and do family stuff . All while she lives at our home . I sound pathetic I know but I don’t know what a normal relationship is. I did try and move on but he would do what he does and i’m back in the situation . Playing me and her off of each other. Well i’m slowly and surely climbing out of the situation I am in and trying to love myself so I someday will find a person who can love me back . This why I love your brand because I’m trying to see that I am beautiful and most definitely my life is a disaster . But i’m learning more everyday not to need a man to make me feel beautiful.

Original Submission: 7/7/15

Would you like to share your story and be featured on the Beautiful Disaster Blog? Please email christie@bdrocks.com

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July 07, 2015