Jen's Story: Lived Through Disaster & Now Am Living The Beauty

Jen's Story: Lived Through Disaster & Now Am Living The Beauty

TW: SA and Abuse

I never thought I would fall into a domestic violence situation.  I came from a good home with loving parents and two close sisters. However, I married a man that I thought was great.

He was in the army, so I thought he could provide for a family. He was so sweet and I thought so handsome.  It took him a couple years to manipulate me into being the broken, obedient, woman he wanted. He cheated, he threw things, he yelled and belittled me, even threatened me with an axe in front of our children.  I think the worst part was when he raped me while I was seven months pregnant with our son.

In the end, he left and it broke me further that I didn't leave him. The cycle has continued for years and led me down a dark path of self loathing.  I got into another relationship years later where the man tried to strangle me to death. I survived by hitting him in the head with a hard back book until he let go. The event that turned my life around was very traumatic. My boyfriend at the time took my car to see his mistress and I wanted it over. I had tried to make him leave several times, but he kept coming back. I borrowed a friends car to get my keys from him, but the breaks didn't work like I was used to and I crashed her car. That caused a mental break and I blacked out. While blacked out, I was told I got in my own car and chased the boyfriend down with it. I did not hit him and I believe I was trying to scare him off, but I got a record from it and spent a night in jail. Never again will I let anything go that far.

It is hard to reconcile the hurt that has been done to me and forgive myself for allowing it. After many years of self discovery, I am learning to forgive myself. With forgiveness comes self love. That is what makes me a Beautiful Disaster. 

I have lived through disaster and now am living the beauty.  I love how inclusive the Beautiful Disaster brand is. When I first signed up, I got daily messages that I am worthy and gorgeous.  They often came when I needed them most. Now, I am just a mama trying to raise my kids to be kind, honest and generous.

I work hard, pay my bills, own my house and have two cars. I hope that my experience can help another woman get out before it is too late. My story has potential to save a life so I unashamedly tell it. The two items I love the most from BD are the yoga pants and the hoodies. They are so comfortable and designed so well! I get so many compliments when I wear the BD brand. Thank you! 

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Comments

Levii April 10 2022

I am so glad I came across your story. You are not alone. I was in an abusive relationship by a Narcissis. He cheated on me, manipulated me and isolated me from friends and family. One night he even pulled a gun on me. But I stayed to “fix” him and the relationship. It took him leaving me because I didn’t have the strength to do it. It took me having to sell almost everything just to get out of the debt he caused. He went on to tell everyone how toxic I was and that he was in a sexless relationship. I admit, we were. Because I felt so disgusted just laying next to him. He bread crumbed me for a year after. That was until he went to jail. I think that was gods way of getting him out of my life. I never imagined I would have been in an abusive relationship. I came from a broken home but a loving home. But because of what I went through I would never trust another person again. I am broken. But I still have a heart and care for a lot of people. I share my story in hopes that others won’t go through what I went through. 10 years of it. I am also a beautiful disaster

Dian Vannortwick April 5 2022

Great story glad you overcame so much