Jennifer's Story: From the Ashes: Reclaiming My Strength After the Darkest Storm

What Makes You a Beautiful Disaster?
I’ve been lost, damaged, and broken, but you know what they say—what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. There were times I thought I wouldn’t make it, but in the end, I survived!

Why Do You Identify with the Beautiful Disaster Brand?
Because I’ve been broken and damaged, but I’m perfect just the way I am—flaws and all. I survived what almost killed me.

Tell Us Your Beautiful Disaster Story:
In 2017, I met a man, and it was love at first sight for me. The first month was amazing. He said and did all the things I’d been longing to hear and experience for so long. After just a month, he, my three very young kids, and I moved in together.

Two weeks after moving in, he beat me for the first time. I stayed inside for nearly two weeks, healing and hiding so no one would see what had happened. I had never been in a situation like this before, and I was completely unprepared to deal with it. He cried, apologized, and swore he’d never drink again or hurt me again, so I believed him.

We stayed together for three more years. During that time, he beat me many times, but the physical pain was easier to recover from than the emotional and mental abuse. He slowly alienated me from my family and friends, taking complete control of my life. I had to ask permission for everything, even to use the bathroom. I became as compliant as I could, obeying his every command because I believed I loved him. I surrendered my entire heart, mind, body, and soul to him.

He made me believe I deserved the way he treated me and that no one else would ever love me. He constantly told me I was worthless and pathetic and detailed how he could kill me and dispose of my body. Despite this, I stayed, even when he cheated on me repeatedly, including with my 61-year-old aunt on the 4th of July.

I started using drugs to numb the pain of his abuse. In one year, I went from a size 24/26 to a size 7. My drug use resulted in me losing my kids for a year, but during that time, I fought hard to get them back. I got clean and began therapy.

Two months after catching him with my aunt, I received a text from him that was clearly not meant for me. He lied, as usual, but I knew the truth. That night, I sat at the foot of my bed for three hours, thinking about my life. I realized I couldn’t endure any more pain. I packed one bag of clothes and waited in my car for him to return. When he got home, I told him I couldn’t keep living this way. This time, he didn’t threaten me into staying—he let me go.

Within an hour of my leaving, the girl he had been texting moved into my house. The next day, I discovered she was my best friend, the same person who had been encouraging me to leave him every time he hurt me.

What Happened for You to Turn It Around?
I spent two weeks crying on my mother’s couch. I didn’t know how to live without him telling me what to do, and I still loved him, despite everything. My mother called in reinforcements, and little by little, I began piecing my life back together.

It took three years of therapy, medication, and self-reflection to finally move on from him. I worked hard to recondition my mind after the damage he caused. The person I was before him is gone, and while I mourn her, I’m proud of who I’ve become. I survived the darkest six years of my life—the three years I was with him and the three years it took to rebuild myself.

Since then, I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, ADHD, and bipolar disorder, but I’m proud to say I’m stronger now than I’ve ever been.

Name Three Things You’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness:

1. Got intense therapy.
2. Started medication.
3. Got my kids back and surrounded myself with people who bring me peace, not drama.

What Is Your Favorite Beautiful Disaster Collection and Why?
I love all of them, but the Phoenix Collection resonates with me the most. Out of the ashes of my life, I was reborn and pushed myself to be better than the day before.

Additional Thoughts:
I haven’t been able to afford any Beautiful Disaster gear yet, but I’ve written down every inspirational message from your designs in a notebook and on the walls of my shed for all to see. I’ve even tattooed one saying on my leg: Exquisitely Damaged and Perfectly Imperfect.

I also plan to tattoo Beautiful Disaster on the inside of my arms as soon as I can. Thank you for your time and for listening to the highlights of my story.