Diamonds in the Sand: Mary’s Journey from Silence to Self-Worth

What makes you a Beautiful Disaster?
What made me weak made me strong.

Why do you identify with the Beautiful Disaster brand?
I’m tired of people not knowing my story. When I wear the sweatshirt that says, “You Don’t Know My Story,” I now say, “If you want to know my story, ask me—I’m an open book.”

Mary’s Beautiful Disaster Story

I grew up in a very public family. My dad was well-known in the racing world, and from the outside, people assumed we had a picture-perfect life. But behind the scenes, my home was a place of emotional pain, inequality, and abuse.

My mother was in charge of both my sister and me—and she made it very clear that my sister was the star of the family. I, on the other hand, could do nothing right. She often spoke negatively about me to others, including people in the racing business. I wasn’t an angel; I had a mouth, sure—but mostly, I just wanted attention and love.

My sister treated me cruelly. At our family business, she would push me aside in front of employees, look down her nose at me, and belittle me. At home, she’d shove me on the stairs or elbow me in the ribs when we passed in the hallway. I can still feel the humiliation of her pinning me down and drooling spit into my face while my mom stood by laughing and saying, “Knock it off.” My mom never stepped in—not once.

Even when I was pregnant, the abuse didn’t stop. Once, when I was seven months along, my sister charged into my dad’s office and slapped me repeatedly in front of my mother. Again, my mom did nothing. Years later, I found out she was scared of her too.

At the time, I felt like I wasn’t worth a plugged nickel. I became severely depressed and was constantly told to “pull my bootstraps up” and deal with it. I started to believe I was truly invisible—unworthy of love or kindness.

But I wasn’t alone. My friends saw the way I was treated. They believed me. They stood by me. And with their help, and the guidance of a compassionate psychiatrist, I found the strength to leave home at 18. That’s when my healing began.

One of the most healing relationships I’ve had has been with animals—especially my rescue dogs and horses. They’ve brought joy, peace, and purpose into my life. They don’t judge. They just love. And every time I look into their eyes, I’m reminded that I matter.

My relationship with my dad was complicated. He didn’t step in when I needed him most. But a few years before he died, he apologized. He told me he was sorry for not doing more—that he didn’t want to go through another divorce and felt stuck. He told me he loved me, and after that, he made an effort to call me twice a week to check in. It helped.

When he was still involved in NASCAR, he would take me and my friend Chris to races. It made my sister furious, but it gave me a sense of belonging. Over the years, some of the racing community came to know the real me—and not the version painted by gossip. To this day, I’m still friends with a few of them. Every year, the President of NASCAR grants me a hard credential so I can walk the garage and pits freely. It’s something special just for me—and it reminds me how far I’ve come.

What helped you turn it around?

My friends. My psychiatrist. And the undeniable truth that I was worth more than the way I was treated. That I was born for more.

3 Things I’ve Done to Move Closer to Happiness

1. Surrounding myself with a family that truly loves and understands me.

2. Staying grounded with friends who lift me up.

3. Rescuing dogs and showing my horse when I can—each moment with them fills my heart.

What’s your favorite Beautiful Disaster collection?

My “You Don’t Know My Story” sweatshirt speaks the loudest for me. I also love this quote I wrote:

“The broken pieces we put back together start with the peace that is within ourselves to make us stronger.”

Advice for Others Who Feel Invisible or Mistreated

Stand up for yourself and be heard—because you are worth more than the diamonds in the sand. Never keep your mouth shut. Tell someone. You are number one—they aren’t. Once you believe in yourself, then you can be happy and go chase that dream that’s always been yours.