I can't say my life was always was always a mess because that would be a lie. Growing up I had a everything handed to me on a silver platter. I was a very lucky girl and blessed, but looking back I was a very ungrateful, spoiled lil girl who didn't know just how blessed she was.
That's when my life changes. My mother became ill at a young age. She was my number 1 fan. She was my best friend. She lost her life at the age of 41. I was 23. My life was turned upside down and I didn't know how to react to it so I did what I thought was gonna help me not think about it..I started drinking. As you can guess that didn't work to well and after my 3rd DUI I finally did jail time for the first time and though I didn't think at the time I needed it and still blamed everyone else, well trust me - I know now it was much needed. I had to do a year of weekend time and got 5 years probation. During that time, I saw just how bad some people have it and I saw how ugly the world was. I also became pregnant during this time with my son and when he was born I never drank again. I then knew I could've killed someone drinking and driving and what if someone had or does it to my child. So now that was out of the way and things were going great. I had my son, whom changed the way I thought the I lived and showed me exactly how much my mom did love me and man, she loved me. But then out of nowhere, when he was 3, his dad who just came in life decided he could give him a better life. While I was working 2 jobs and didn't own my home and still didn't have my driver's license back, I thought I was doing good and I was the happiest I ever been. And he has everything he needed, but all the judge saw was this man with a fancy lawyer and money so he granted him custody. About 8 months after I couldn't take the not getting out of bed, depression and feeling like my heart had been ripped out of my chest anymore. And I didn't have a care to even care anymore, so I tried meth for the first time. I started getting out of bed and doing things again even though I was living couch to couch because I lost everything my home and my jobs. But living that life was just me trying to drown my feelings again like I did when my mom passed.
In 2018, I went to the ER for a place on my face that was infected and they did a MRI where they discovered I had a huge brain aneurysm. I was a walking time bomb the doctor said and they rushed me to another hospital where 2 weeks later I had my first brain surgery to stop the aneurysm from bleeding and so it wouldn't rupture. But, still even though knowing in my heart that was God working and trying to tell me something, I still let my addiction get to me and chose it.
After my second surgery, I finally realized that God has me here for a reason and that I never want my son to feel the way I did when I lost my mom. And what would I be teaching him if I gave up. I am still getting my life together, but today I have a home, a job and a son who is doing so good. I have friends and family gang support me none stop also. And I can say I am richer in life today than I was when I was a spoiled lil bitch that didn't appreciate a thing. So much more has happened in between all the events that I just wrote about but one thing I can say is I am a survivors and I everyday I survive only makes me stronger to take on anything the world throws at me. When I learned to stop blaming everyone my life became so much easier when obstacles were thrown at me.
My name is Brandy. I am 44 years old. And I am a BEAUTIFUL DISASTER. I haven't been able to purchase any clothing from you, but I still love reading the stories. It helps me remember sometimes I don't have it so bad and I love seeing these women overcome so much.