I live a life I wish on nobody, and yet you would not know all the struggles I have dealt with. As hard and miserable as my life has been, my crown never fell.

The brand shows women empowering each other as ourselves. I only have one female friend and no support from any others. This brand makes me feel closer to others.

Life has been difficult from day one. I was born to an unhappy couple. There are big age gaps between me and the rest of my siblings. There is a 15-year gap between me and the third brother. There are five of us, the oldest being 57 now. My father died when I was 1-1/2 years old. My favorite person in the world, my brother who was 20 years old, killed himself at home with me and our mom present. I was five when that happened. My mother was not a nice person; she wanted me to be a girly girl, but I am not that. She got cancer and died when I was six years old. I moved in with my sister and her two daughters. My sister had to fight for custody of me against my aunt. I lived with my sister and never fit in. I was singled out for everything. My grades were not great, and I needed to get a job. I tried so hard, but no one would hire a teen. I had to visit my aunt several times a year. I loved my aunt, but I hated it. When I was 12, another brother killed himself. By the time I reached 18, both parents, two brothers, and all my grandparents and some aunts had passed away. Every day I struggled to figure out who I was and why I was left alone. It seemed like everyone I loved died. I was sexually assaulted several times by different people. I got my first serious boyfriend, and everything was good at the beginning, then he started to change. He started to verbally abuse me. Time and time again, I forgave him. After he cheated on me, and I finally saw how he treated me, I was done for good. I moved back to my hometown (I lived in 11 houses growing up in 4 different towns). I met my husband there. My sister-in-law ended up with cancer and just passed away 3 months ago. She was my best friend. She was my family. I struggled everyday living without her. Every day I fight to stay here. Every day I am trying to find who I am.

Once I moved back home and met my husband, everything started to get better for the most part. Losing my sister-in-law has taken a toll on me. But I am fighting through it. I made the decision not to try for a child anymore, and I am just going to love my life and enjoy what I can. Once I made that choice, I am starting to feel whole. I am starting to see how I want to dress myself and how I want to be. I am starting to see the real me.

My life right now is still a struggle, but every day that I wake up and feel more like myself is a win. I am ready to finally be myself to my fullest, and I don't care who doesn't like it.

My favorite hoodie is my Hating Me zip!

Comments

Ariana said:

Much love your way, I feel and identify with your struggles and only hope the best for you from here on out! Stay positive lovely!

Anita Vermillion said:

Our scars are what makes us uniquely beautiful

Rebecca said:

Thank you amber for inspiring me by sharing your story. Maybe I can share mine too. Keep going you are worth it

Adelia Huth said:

Your so precious 💕 What tragedies you endured from a very young age and to this present time. Your brave and courageous and from one woman to another im soooo sorry honey and I’m proud of you and your fight Your a treasure Hold that head up high your a warrior

Annette said:

Your a strong woman when life throws things at you. You come out the other side as a beautiful woman and that makes you stronger. Also know you have a bunch of sisters here. We’ll have your back. ♥️

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January 25, 2024