Amber Buchanan: Losing Her Best Friend And Boyfriend Nearly Destroyed Her

Amber Buchanan: Losing Her Best Friend And Boyfriend Nearly Destroyed Her
My name is Amber. I'm a 37 year old mother of four. When I was 18 my best friend committed suicide. He called me the day he died, and I didn't answer the phone. That still haunts me today. One month later my boyfriend was found dead on a bridge off a country road one mile from my house. They say it was suicide but I still question it. That's when my down hill spiral started  I started drinking heavily all day everyday, I started cutting myself everyday. 
 
One day I went to the same bridge that my boyfriend was found on and sat on the edge contemplating suicide. If my brother would not have found me and pulled me off that bridge I probably wouldn't be here. That is when I became a beautiful disaster, but at that time I saw nothing beautiful about myself or life in general.
 
Shortly after that day I found out I was pregnant. From that day everything changed for me. The pain was still there but I had somebody else to protect. My son literally saved my life. It's amazing how much such a little person can change your life so much.
 
The Beautiful Disaster brand lets me know I'm not alone, that I don't suffer by myself. I have a whole family out there standing behind me and making me strong. My Beautiful Disaster family.
 
My life now is still a struggle on my bad days, I am on antidepressants and anxiety meds for the rest of my life, and that's ok.  I now remember how it feels to be happy. I look at the four lives I've brought into this world and realize that life is so much bigger than the pain. That there is happiness waiting for you even in your darkest moments, you just have to look for the light.
 
We are all worthy, and beautiful, and brave, and yes, we are disasters and that's ok. That's what makes us perfectly imperfect. The Beautiful Disaster brand makes me feel proud, it makes me embrace my flaws when I used to try so hard  to hide them. Everything that has happened to me in life has helped shape who I am today, and I can finally say, after so long, that I love who I am, I love myself.

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Comments

Alicia A Coogler 1 day ago

Ladies,were are all PERFECTLY IMPERFECT, BEAUTIFULLY BROKEN & have too endure pain some way. But the ways in which we read here are from the strongest of us all. Spoken from threw strength to carry on daily and succeed in every way possible. So, from my pain 2 yours i give my strength to your as well. We are all…. BEAUTIFUL DISASTERS!

Lisa Loera 1 day ago

I feel the pain from the few things I’ve read. Im definitely one to fit right in. My son was murdered goin on 4 yrs and his birthday is coming up this month. I turned to drugs and alcohol. I wish I never would have. My depression and ptsd gets the best of me!! I will get up and brush myself off here soon. That wats my son would want me to do!! I want you all to know I respect each and every one of you!! True soldiers in my book!! MAD LOVE AND RESPECT!!! Just found this group and im so glad I did!! Will be ordering soon…FOR SURE!! Again thank u for ur time…L&Rs

Rebecca coots 1 day ago

Please remove my comment thank you

Rebecca Coots 1 day ago

I too take the same meds every day. I have had mental depression my whole life. But at 41 I still have to say I don’t have nor do I think I will ever know true happiness. I think a lot of it is where I live and the environment/ people/ way of life. But still I am one of those people pleasures. And we all know U can’t please the people all the time. I have suicidal thoughts daily. I mask my thoughts and anxiety/ depression with shopping. Shopping is my drug. I have never done drugs or alcohol or smoked but shopping is my only way to stop thinking for a while. I found your clothing line and a light went off. Omg. This was me. I had to buy. Thank you for honest story and I hope to place many more purchases.