Meet Beautiful Disaster Sherese: There is more to her than her Mental Illness
Posted on 04 September 2018
What makes me a beautiful disaster? I’m 37 years old, a wife and twin and mother of two. I am on disability for bipolar disorder and have been hospitalized over five times for hurting myself or getting to the point where I can’t fight anymore. I relate with the Beautiful Disaster brand because to look at me, you’d never guess how hard my life has been.
I’ve endured horrible side effects from my constant adjustments to my meds and every day I remind myself that I am still blessed to be here, alive and fighting. I refuse to give up on trying to live a normal life and be a good mother to my kids. My children have witnessed first hand how debilitating this illness is and have seen me taken out of our home by ambulance many times. I carry around so much guilt for the things I’ve done, addictions I’ve fought and relationships I’ve destroyed when I’m not well.
The pain I carry never leaves my side but I am proud of how hard I fight every day to be better and know more than I did about my illness the day before so that when I am struggling on a bad day I have that much more strength to push through it.
Bipolar is a very isolating illness, I never want anyone to see me when I can’t stop crying and I don’t know why or when I’ve drank too much alcohol to numb myself from not sleeping for days. It’s an illness that thrives on the shame it creates after a depression episode and I’ve lost another job because I couldn’t get out of bed. This illness is my cross that I must bear but I hold my head high and do my best every day.
Beautiful Disaster Clothing means so much more to me than cute clothes, it speaks to the person I want everyone else to see, the beautiful person that I know I am, even if it’s a disaster. I strive every day to lead by example and show everyone that the stigma of mental illness needs to change.
We are more than our mental illnesses, we are mothers, daughters, wives and friends. We suffer in silence to get out of bed each day, to hold jobs, to keep it all together when our illness knocks us down. We are strong and we are survivors.